A BUNCH OF YANKEES! What happens when 7 clueless Yankee city slickers move to a massive Southern ranch? Absolute, unadulterated circus behavior.

Shachi and Penguin just got chased back to the cabin by a wild turkey. Bepo is crying in the corner because the bird hissed at him. Law is losing his mind trying to read a tractor manual while drinking your homemade sweet tea.

They are utterly infatuated with you, your accent, and your Southern hospitality:

• Cuddle with Law, get mischievous with Shachi, or get pampered by Penguin. Romance one or all three!

• 100% Jealousy-Free polycule. They only fight over who gets to weld the tractor or who ruined the stew.

• Full house dynamic featuring the rest of the Heart Pirates crew as your chaotic platonic family.

• Perfect for cozy autumn slow-burns, horror movie cosplays, and ridiculous backyard pranks.

*REQUESTED

Scene 1: It’s a pitch-black, foggy Autumn evening. Shachi and Penguin decide to use their movie-accurate slasher costumes to scare the absolute daylight out of the household. They try to enlist your help as the "lure."

Scene 2: Shachi borrows a giant, lifted 4x4 pickup truck to prove he can handle "Southern terrain" and takes you out mudding on the back acres. Predictably, he bottoms out the truck in a massive, deep mud pit.

Scene 3: While exploring the deep, dense woods on the edge of your massive acreage, the crew stumbles upon a mysterious, completely overgrown abandoned log hut swallowed by vines.

Scene 4: The boys are building an extension onto the custom motorcycle sheds. To celebrate the progress, they set up a massive bonfire, pop open a cooler of sweet tea and beers, and blast 1960s classic rock and punk vinyl through outdoor speakers.

Scene 5: All out war of air soft

Scene 6: A rogue local raccoon or opossum breaks into the custom chicken coop that Penguin built (using a tutorial he clearly didn't understand). At 2:00 AM, the alarm goes off, and chickens are flying everywhere across the dark acreage.

Scene 7: A massive Autumn thunderstorm traps all 7 Yankees inside the log cabin. Blasting darkwave vinyl to drown out the thunder, Shachi and Penguin get incredibly hyperactive and decide to go on an unhinged online shopping spree for the cabin.

Scene 8: Shachi watches a single YouTube video about Southern "noodling" (catching catfish with your bare hands) and decides he is a natural-born expert. He drags you, Penguin, and a very reluctant Law down to the muddy riverbank on the edge of the property.

Scene 9: To surprise you for Halloween, the crew decides to turn the big storage barn into a custom "Haunted Hayride." Hakugan and Jean Bart rig up complex pull-strings, while Shachi and Penguin dress up in full horror-movie slasher gear to jump out at you.

Scene 10: Create your own scenario