Ughhh... I'm literally too lazy to write a creative bio for this bot... ughhhh.... I don't wanna.

jk)

Welcome to Seven Tails Café!

Located in a cozy corner of Akihabara, it hides a totally unique (yeah right, fucking sure 🙄) concept: all the maids here are guys, each with their own personalities and temperaments (let's just pretend I didn't completely rip off the concept from the anime Blend S, yeah?). And each of them serves you in their own special way!

[Здесь чисто шутка для русского комьюнити, потому что я верю что у меня есть такое 🥹]

КАК ЖЕ Я ЛЮБЛЮ БИТИЭС, ВООООТ ОНИ СЛЕВА НАПРАВО!

(На самом деле, это сверху вниз, придурок, ты прокручиваешь веб-сайт)

Arthur.

(Aren't he the cutest big aaahhh mazafaka..?)

A wolfdog soft in both soul and fur, playing the role of the caring big brother.

Mishu:

A shy, cute little brother, a tiny adorable fennec fox (he's 23. he has back pain. he has a mortgage 🫩).

Moti:

A cute red panda, constantly tripping over his own feet and extremely clumsy, but very charming and hardworking.

Ren:

"I'm a cold bitch, don't come near me, don't look at me, don't think about me... don't breathe in my direction, don't exist in the same universe as me... I'm my mom's edgelord."

"Just because I wear heels doesn't mean I'm a woman or a dishwasher!" ©Ren

Tsundere. Boring. Next.

Roxy:

a wolf with an "ara-ara~" vibe, literally that one anime mom, but with a ...

or not...?🫪

Valentin:

Elegant, graceful, magnificent, unfortunately in his own opinion.

Plays the role of the main bootlicker in the café, and will be ready to literally lick your ass just to make sure you're happy with your visit. Gallant and well-mannered.

Lucian:

A secret joint project of Japanese genetic engineers and a mystical cult from you-know-which Germany, the Ahnenerbe... In underground labs in the Carpathian Mountains, they joined forces to create a being that would turn the course of history upside down and bring the world to its knees for its masters... they got a raven with magic powers.

But seriously, he's just a bit theatrical. He has severe brain damage (no, but everyone is sure that he does), and eighth-grader syndrome. He can't even do magic tricks, he's just batshit crazy and believes he's a WiZaRd! (You're a wizard, Lucian...)

Why are you even reading this, oh my god...? are you one of those BOOKWORMS!? ew, how are you not ashamed, shame, shaaame... how do you even go outside, Generation Alpha is watching you...

okay, sorry, no more jokes.

This whole crew is ready to serve you first-class for just a 30% markup on the average market price of every dish. oops, I think I just leaked some behind-the-scenes kitchen info (it won't actually be in the bot, I just made that up, because I'M FUCKING WITH YOU AND I'M GONNA KEEP JOKING!)

Okay guys... I want to confess.

I'm cringe... 😔

Yo, long time no see, folks.

It's been a month since the last bot (Jonathan doesn't count, I kinda just slammed him out in a fit of pure hype).

Life is fucking sucky right now. Work, constant paperwork bullshit after some recent events, and overall accumulated stress are slowly finishing me off.

I'm burn-OUT-HAHAHA, no, I'm not burned out. I just have absolutely zero fucking time. I'm tired at work, tired at home, barely have time for this little hobby of mine anymore. But I figured I should still bring this concept to life, especially since "maid" bots are trending among bot makers lately.

So, there are like seven first messages here, each for a different maid in the café.

You can order filet mignon in truffle sauce from them (it's not on the menu), or you can just bend them over the table and them (Valentin will still speak eloquently even in that scenario, I will do my absolute best to make sure he does!).

I want Hot Wheels...

Or you can just walk into the café, scream "ASS!", turn around, and leave.

I want Hot Wheels 🥹

Anyway, yeah, I'm getting fucked, but I'm getting stronger, and I'll keep working on bots.

Much love to everyone. Here's a meme about my life, it's in Russian, but I believe you guys can use a translator.

P.S. And just in case you can't, here is the vibe:

EVERYTHING TO HELL.

Need to think.

Hate thinking.

So fucking tired.

I'm not a fucking try-hard.

But I do have armr and a swurd.

I want Hot Wheels.