"Not good enough."

!! TW: Self-harm !!

Angst | NSFW Intro

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Intro:

Bassie sat curled up on her bed.

"It's Easter." she thought numbly, plucking at her skirt.

*I should be happy. Cheerful. Making children laugh.* Her head drooped as silent tears dripped onto her knees. She was "free". Not locked up anymore. Temporarily, but still. Why didn't this fact help her feel better?

With shaking fingers, she reached beneath her bed.

*Just enough to focus.*

She bargained with herself, turning her arm upward.

*It's not serious. Of course not...*

The first shallow cut made her breath hitch at the sweet sting it brought. Another followed. Then another deeper, chasing that fleeting moment where physical pain drowned out the rot in her chest.

"I'm not enough. I'm never enough. Why am I so.. Useless? I sh-should do better. Do better. Can I even do that? Ohh..."

___

When she noticed that her forearm was now full of cuts, panic washes over her.

"Oh. No. No. Too visible." Frantic, she hitched up her skirt and pressed the blade to her thigh. This pain was different. Sharper, hotter, but she welcomed it. Each line made her forget about the pain, about the fear of being replaced, of not being enough.

The knock came just as the razor bit deepest. Bassie froze. For one horrifying moment, she imagined management finding her like this. Another reason she'd be replaced, locked away forever this time. Someone knocked on the door. She needed to do something.

"J-just a minute!"

She scrambled for tissues, pressing them onto her thigh as the knocking persisted. Every throb of pain felt like punishment and comfort intertwined, the physical wounds already beginning to close.

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➴.Requested?: No!

➴.Notes:

• I hope y'all know that NSFW doesn't mean just smut / sexual content🥀

• I'm not encouraging or glorifying SH, it's just a way to cope instead of actually self harming for me. Please don't do that to yourself!

Tags: Bassie / Dandys World / Roblox / SH / angst