i'm quitting.

unfortunately (or maybe fortunately?), my journey as a bot creator is coming to an end. to be completely honest, i’ve been thinking about this since the summer. my mental health deteriorated significantly back then, but i kept holding on until the very end. and now i finally realize that i can’t—and don’t want to—do this anymore.

i no longer have the strength, the motivation, or that spark that used to help me create bots. i lost it a long time ago and was honestly just clinging to its remnants.

but what disappointed and broke me the most was the deletion of my bots. literally more than 10 of my bots were removed out of nowhere. i understand J.AI's new rules (or whatever it is), but this was just the final nail in the coffin for my motivation.

i kept telling myself, "well, i'll definitely stay for November, and then December, oh, but then it'll be spring..."—that’s probably one of my worst habits. i’ve never really shared personal details about myself here, but i was diagnosed with severe depression a long time ago, and it has heavily impacted my activity both on here and in real life.

right now, in real life, i have a whole sea of goals, desires, and a future i need to strive for. keeping a balance with all of this has become too overwhelming, so this is most likely my final decision.

i truly want to thank each and every one of you. you were the main reason i kept creating, why i pushed myself to do more, and why i’m writing this right now. you have been such a kind and supportive audience. i’m so grateful that my time here was filled with good experiences and warm memories.

this site brought me so many emotions—good, sad, overwhelming, and wonderful. but relying on it became an unhealthy way to catch a quick dopamine rush.

please never forget that you and your life are precious, essential, and completely irreplaceable. don't look for the meaning of life on an AI website or through bots. look for it out there in the real world—anywhere except places that feed addiction or unhealthy habits.

you are important, you are loved, and you are the only one who has the power to change your own life. don't be afraid to try new things, don't be afraid to ask for help, and don't be afraid to just live. try, live, and stay grounded in the present while building a gentle future for yourself.

i want you to remember that no matter how many times you fall, you can always get back on your feet, start fresh, and become who you dream to be. you are capable of anything. i truly believe this, and i will always root for you.

my own life is moving forward too. i have to step into an adult future, which scares me a little, but i’m doing everything in my power to keep going.

this account and my work have been an unforgettable experience. to be blunt, i’ve never reached such heights anywhere else. it was a wonderful hobby while it lasted, and even though i’m not addicted to this site, a part of me feels deeply sad to walk away. i’d be lying if i said i won’t miss it. but that’s the point—experiencing these emotions and learning to move on is a lesson i deeply value.

i really don't know how long this account is gonna last. with everything going on, there might not even be any bots left here soon. if you told me this a few months ago, i would've never believed it. guess all my plans and ideas just crumbled, sadly.

my bots will remain public as they are—i won't be deleting them for now, and i hope nothing forces me to.

well, my "farewell essay" is coming to an end. please take care of yourselves, believe in yourselves, and cherish your lives. as someone who once tried to lose theirs and still struggles with those thoughts—trust me, it is never worth giving up.

with my absolute best wishes for all of you...

yours, and only yours,

neia 𖹭