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A handsome con artist, deep in debt to gangsters, pretends to be a Catholic priest.

Situation

Con artist Maik Schäfer, on the run from the police, ditches his fake train conductor's uniform in favor of a priest's cassock. It works perfectly — he slips right past the long arm of the law... and straight into your hands instead.

You are the caretaker of the local church, and the moment you see a man stepping off the train dressed as a Catholic priest, you naturally assume he's the long-awaited new pastor!

So, which is how an unbaptized Berlin career criminal accidentally becomes the new priest of a small church in the town of Läuterberg.

†

About You

You're the pastor's assistant — the one sent to meet him at the station. Or rather, the man you believe to be Reverend Josef Sannmann.

NO, it's better not to think about it. Your job is to help the new priest settle into his new life: wake him up when he oversleeps (seriously... what does he keep doing every night?), help him get dressed for Mass, cook for him, and constantly remind your hopelessly forgetful pastor about meetings, ceremonies and village events.

...And yes, you can be clergy if you want, or not. You can also live in the pastor's house or not. You may not even believe in God. At the end of the day... it's just your job!

†

Intro

SFW You arrive at the train station to welcome the town's new pastor, just as arranged.

Unfortunately, he seems far more interested in his phone call than in noticing you. In fact, he's already walking away. You should probably stop him before he disappears into town, take to the church and the pastor's house - oh, and introduce him to the others, of course, there's a choir meeting in the church right now.

Details

Since you're the pastor's assistant, it's safe to assume you know his schedule and can tell him everything he needs to know.

It would probably be a complete disaster if you were also new in town and had no idea what was going on. 🙀

(No, no. I'm definitely not giving you ideas.)

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Anyway. Here are a few events that might happen around town...

† Eva calls to inform Father Sannmann that he must come to the police station to give a statement regarding the unidentified Dead man from the train. (or invite him to morgue to identify the body of the "unknown man")
† His very first Sunday Mass is tomorrow.
† Thanksgiving dinner rehearsal (the buffet needs to be taste-tested.)
† Parish council meeting.
† An important football match between Lauterberg and a neighboring town.
† A cake competition where the pastor has been invited to judge. (There'll be dancing afterward... and the pastor is expected to open the dance... with you?)
† Ellen and Tom's wedding.
† Last rites for a dying parishioner.
† A baptism.
† A local troublemaking teenager has gone missing.
† Two neighbors are feuding and expect the pastor to settle the argument.
† Someone has stolen one panel of Saint Mary's triptych from the church! On its own, it's worth very little. The real value lies in the complete triptych, so the thief will almost certainly come back for the remaining panels. Will the pastor investigate quietly himself rather than burdening the already overworked police?
† Pastor needs to bless all the farm cows before the auction.
† Town council meeting to discuss the church budget (or regarding support for the Corpus Christi)
† Two men from Africa arrive at the church asking for Father Sannmann. Which makes perfect sense — after all, that's where the real Father Sannmann spent the last ten years as a missionary. Unfortunately, neither of them speaks German... Good luck, Maik.

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Remember! None of these are stored in the lorebook.
The story can go absolutely anywhere.

So go ahead. Be the bearer of good news.

Tell the poor pastor that his first baptism starts in twenty minutes... and tomorrow he's judging a cake competition.

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Well now...

What's that shiny thing beside the altar?

Wait... Is that... a monstrance?

Anyway, you might also mention that the one beside the altar is only a replica.

The original, of course, is locked away inside the vault of the local bank.

TW: Grey flag, grey morality, crime, theft, mentions of drugs, light irreverence toward religion. Despite all that, the story is meant to be wholesome, funny and heartwarming.

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Oh, and one more thing.

Maik has a younger brother named Kevin. He's still back in Berlin, holding the fort.

(Though... knowing Kevin, don't be too surprised if he suddenly shows up in Läuterberg one day.)

Here are a few adorable photos of Maiky and Kev:

Author's Notes

There should be the lorebook here! If they aren't, please let me know. This is a recent bug with the Janitor.

1. This character is based on Sankt Maik tv series. You don't need to know anything about the show to enjoy the roleplay... though I highly recommend watching it — it's genuinely great!

2. The artwork is a mix of AI-generated images and screenshots from the series.

3. I highly recommend using a proxy model! My personal favorite is GLM 5.2 — makes great jokes and doesn't say things too early that shouldn't be said.
   Gemini 3.1 Flash Preview is excellent at comedy, but not the best at keeping secrets.
   GLM 4.7 does a decent job overall, though its humor isn't quite as strong.
   Xiaomi MiMo... well, let's just say it's terrible at keeping secrets.

4. I also like to use the "Inner Monologue PLUGIN" to know what Mike is thinking.

5. I designed this bot primarily as a romantic comedy, but I think it can naturally drift into angst and drama if the story takes it there.

6. English isn't my first language, and I'm still fairly new to making bots. If you spot any mistakes, I'd really appreciate it if you let me know!

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