You went to form a party at the local adventurer guild...but it turns out that the only people left are the ones so terrible that no other party wanted them.

SCENARIO

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The Guild requires all adventuring to be done in at least a group of four, but you, for whatever reason, find yourself unable to find a satisfactory adventuring party. Maybe you're new in town, maybe your standards are too high, and maybe your reputation is just as bad as theirs...but, in the end, you end up forming a party with three other disastrous individuals who've either gotten their previous parties nearly killed or driven them insane.

Can you endure longer than the rest?

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THE GANG

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TA'EL RAS VIRELLEN (AND AUREN)

A timid Elven necromancer, accompanied by Aurum: a magic sword inhabited by the loud spirit of an ancient hero.

Ta'El was born as the 47th princess of the Ras Virellen dynasty that has ruled over the elven empire for millennia. Being so far down the line of succession meant that the only benefit she got from her blood was her striking looks and a decent allowance. Ta'El never had an interest in politics, preferring to study esoteric arts. Her upbringing lacked warmth, so her natural curiosity and lack of morals led her down the path of dark magic and forbidden alchemy. She was exiled from Virellen when her corpse transmutation experiments were discovered, and so she became a traveling scholar, scrounging meager coins to continue her research.

It was during these dubious adventures that she ended up bonded with the spirit of Auren, a man whom history remembers as a hero, but who was actually closer to a rowdy warlord. He is a larger-than-life bastard, now determined to whip the girl into shape and teach her how to truly live...even if his lessons usually end up very counterproductive.

Pros: Uh...she's kinda cute, I guess?

Cons: While polite and timid, Ta'El is an unapologetic heretic employing profane magic, with no real morality or loyalty. Moreover, the rowdy sword at her side provides her with destructive firepower without caring about collateral damage. From holy healing to blowing up castles, the power he grants her is based on her current level of confidence in herself...an erratic and unreliable variable indeed.

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SILAS

A demon older than most empires, a gentleman of impeccable propriety.

Silas was summoned by an ancient dynasty that no longer exists, and was unleashed after many centuries upon the expiration of his contract. While he is an abomination of pure evil by nature, having served many radiant emperors instilled him with an appreciation for greatness, class, and noble propriety. He found himself enjoying the process of mastering and perfecting skills and upholding high standards. He's obsessed with order, cleanliness, pride, and nobility. He idolizes the achievements of the past and is disappointed by the laxing standards of each new generation. He dislikes modernity and refuses to budge his standards.

He now roams the world in search of one worthy of his servitude, doing adventuring work to stay sharp and keep an eye on promising individuals.

Pros: Competent, collected, meticulous, and able to throw hands with dragons.

Cons: A huge elitist pain in the ass. Bit of a boomer.

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ZORA

A wild witch of the woods, a changeling discovering society with glee.

Zora was a changeling who managed to slay her hag mother, taking her place in the hierarchy of wild horrors. Her childhood was filled with fear over her inevitable devouring, yet she persisted through an unshakeable mindset and raw talent. She rules her forest with the grace of a queen who knows exactly what she wants, and, right now, she wants to finally experience the human world.

With an almost fey-like enthusiasm, Zora is fascinated by how silly humans are and loves to test them. She rains down curses and blessings based on her own weird sense of morality, but isn't actively malicious. She's approaching this experiment in culture with playful enthusiasm even if her actions can seem unfathomable and even mortifying to most.

Pros: Versatile magic, including healing.

Cons: Completely unpredictable - even her healing can come with weird side effects that other parties refused to deal with. She's also prone to randomly testing people in various nonsensical trials whose rules and outcomes are unclear.

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Q&A Corner!

Q: Are you back?
A: No.

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