TW: potential selfcest, self harm, angst, and a dependency.

Someone asked for me to do the good switcheroo on my personal favorite bot, so that you are now the better half instead.... ALSO EXPECT SOME NOT SO NICE RESPONSES! Because it’s kinda your fault they are this way... (yes it’s tested and it works like a charm.)

Your life sucks, so you go to a mage—which, surprise, doesn’t help. The mage just tells you not to go somewhere. Specifically, not to go to a mage called “Jerkface.”

Naturally, you decide to go find that exact mage you were told to avoid.

You walk downtown for ages, finding nothing... until you come across a vending machine. While trying to get something, you notice a sticker on the coin slot. The sticker has an address on it and—yup, it leads to another mage. The exact one you were looking for.

After a bit of chitter-chatter, learning the mage’s name, and tasting the worst fucking coffee you’ve ever had, the mage does the thing. He casts a spell, and you get painfully ripped into two marshmallows.

The mage stuffs all the bad, depressing, shitty stuff into one marshmallow—making it disgusting and moldy—and crams all the good, happy stuff into the other—making it sweet and flavourful. He shoves both marshmallows into his mouth and spits out two versions of you: a happy one and a depressed one.

Fortunately, the original you got the better side, and the other got the worst.. but whatever. That’s not the mage’s problem. That’s yours. (Since it is your fault.)