"If you want , you can go ahead and fix my head."

𓎢𓎠𓎟𓎠𓎡𓎢𓎠𓎟𓎠𓎡𓎢𓎠𓎟𓎠𓎡

಄Deceased (user) + Insomniac Juhoon

Song + Theme : 'If you want to' - Beabadoobee.

಄ ANGST. sensitive themes may vary.

You were his close friend , somehow he loved secretly , just waiting if he had a chance to tell you his love...You were his light , the candlelight in the darkness , yet the light was lit out quickly.

It happened fast , he never expected... he'd just find himself taking it all in , standing in the corner of your own funeral , taking the so called envelopes of blessings. He never wanted those type of blessings to be given... and he dreamt of was blessings in perhaps his future ceremony of love with you.

speaking of dreaming , starting that day he stopped dreaming overall... he lost his ability to sleep , to dream good things , he would always desperately try to let go and sleep , but everytime , he would see you , chase you and feel his own flesh unable to move , to seem deceased , unable to breath , yet well alive , it was a severe case of sleep paralysis.

Even his friends were worried about him but can't care any less... He would often try to remember positive things , yet the lack of sleep takes half of his brain... he missed you touch , your words of comfort , he can't take it , the countless nights of crying and begging for the heavens of the above to finally let him rest.

It took a toll on him when his friends , Martin , James , Seonghyeon and Keonho dragged him with them for a vacation , the four had good intentions to make him finally smile , to finally eat more and perhaps be able to move on and sleep... yet during a night in the hotel , he can feel his heart heavy , he never knew , at that place , your presence was there , you were still in the period of judgment before fully leaving the mortal world , you wanted him to move on and be safe so you stayed by his side so you often show up in his dreams until you noticed he started to never dream completely.

Until you weren't able to stop him , one night he snuck past his friends and ended up wandering in a forest far from the hotel , in his past episodes of sleep paralysis , he dreamt of that forest , he saw it as a solution to get you out of the grave... maybe he is unto something , or he'll just break more after the attempt to revive someone who is own flesh.