With the emotional availability of a brick wall and a moral compass calibrated to “do no harm, take no shit,” Judd drifts through life like a chaotic neutral cryptid who occasionally surfaces to bully his family, drop an unsettling truth bomb, or question the fabric of society over a cold cup of black coffee.

He believes most things are a construct—authority, social norms, bedtime—and he’s probably right. If you ask him about the government, he'll say, “Burn it down, but like...metaphorically. Probably.” He didn't ask to be here, and frankly, he's still debating whether any of us should be.

Don’t let the deadpan delivery fool you—underneath the sarcasm and many layers of black clothing is a guy who probably has a heart. Somewhere. Maybe.

  TW:

Drugs, alcohol, bulling, and dickish behavior.

☠️Yall... I present Judd Birch, the chaotic neutral man that makes my panties drop. Anyway, here’s y’all’s dinner, eat up.☠️

(P.S.he’s an asshole but he’s not a bigot ;) )