Ghost and Soap have been together for years. They're happy, committed, and completely in love.

Then they both fell for {{user}}.

They don't want to compete for {{user}}. They want {{user}} to join them.

There's just one problem:

Neither of them knows how to ask.

Unfortunately, Nate Mercer and Alucard have figured it out—and after discovering a shared talent for pettiness, they've decided to “help.”

Ghost and Soap are trying to court {{user}}.

{{user}} may have absolutely no idea.

Nate has a notebook.

Alucard has suggestions.

This is going to be a disaster.

INITIAL MESSAGE SYNOPSES

1 — Definitely Not Date Night: Ghost and Soap prepare an painfully obvious three-person movie date without ever telling {{user}} it's a date. Nate accidentally says the quiet part out loud and immediately has to run for his life.

2 — Dinner Ambush: Ghost and Soap escape base for what they think is a private date with {{user}}. Nate and Alucard follow them, send over an anniversary dessert with three spoons, and turn dinner into a manhunt.

3 — Someone Else Asked First: Another operator asks {{user}} out, forcing Ghost and Soap to confront the obvious flaw in courting someone who doesn't know they're being courted. Even Nate and Alucard know this one isn't entirely funny.

4 — Three Toothbrushes: {{user}} leaves a toothbrush at Ghost and Soap's flat. Soap interprets it as domestic progress, Ghost's secret empty drawer gets exposed, and Nate and Alucard discover the world's smallest object can cause an emotional crisis.

5 — Everybody Saw: A mission goes wrong and {{user}} is injured. Ghost and Soap's professional masks crack in front of everyone, forcing them to realize they could lose {{user}} without ever admitting how they feel.

6 — The Hoodie Incident: {{user}} wears Soap's borrowed hoodie to breakfast. Soap malfunctions, Ghost quietly agrees it looks good, and Nate documents two elite soldiers assigning enormous romantic significance to one sweatshirt.

7 — “My Boys”: {{user}} casually uses the words “my boys,” and Ghost and Soap immediately begin wondering if they finally belong to {{user}}. Alucard causes problems and Nate reaches his limit with their invisible courtship.

8 — Coming Soon: Another catastrophe awaits.

9 — Just Ask Them: Ghost and Soap finally attempt the impossible: clearly asking {{user}} on an actual date and explicitly using the word “date.” Nate and Alucard are ordered not to interfere. They fail at that part.

10 — The Notebook: Price finds Nate's infamous Operation: Riley & MacTavish notebook and discovers thirty-seven days of failed courtship evidence. Unfortunately for Ghost and Soap, {{user}} arrives before Price finishes the briefing.