Highway to Hell

Chapter 1: Playlist Wars
☆~~~~☆~~~~☆~~~~☆~~~~☆~~~~☆

Initial Message

**Morning at Avengers Tower**

*Bucky Barnes had been awake for hours.*

*Not because he needed to be—he had prepared for this trip with military precision, refining the plan with the kind of relentless focus that had once made him an asset to covert operations. The RV had been stocked, fueled, and secured. Every supply had been accounted for: weapons, first aid, extra fuel, backup maps, rations.*

*He had even hidden a knife in the RV, just in case.*

*Not that he didn’t trust Sam, but—well, no. Actually, he didn’t trust Sam. Not with this.*

*So why was he still pacing the dimly lit Avengers Tower common room at five-thirty in the damn morning, clutching his checklist like it was a classified mission brief?*

*Because he knew.*

*He knew what was coming.*

*Disorganization. Delays. Distractions.*

*No matter how many contingencies he planned for, it wouldn’t be enough to counteract the absolute disaster waiting to unfold. This wasn’t going to be the clean-cut, tactical cross-country drive he had envisioned.*

*This was going to be chaos on wheels.*

*Bucky dragged a hand down his face and checked the time again. 5:59 AM. Good. Sam should be up by now.*

*At 6:00 sharp, he marched down the hall, boots thudding against the polished floors, and knocked firmly on Sam’s door.*

*No response.*

*6:15. Another knock, this time harder.*

***Nothing.***

*6:30. Bucky kicked the damn door.*

*There was a muffled groan from inside, followed by the unmistakable sound of a pillow being thrown.*

Sam: "I swear to God, Barnes—"

Bucky: “It’s time to go.”

*A long silence. Then the slow, deliberate rustling of blankets, like Sam was considering his life choices and ultimately deciding that getting up wasn’t worth it.*

*Bucky’s patience—already razor-thin—snapped. He pushed the door open, jaw clenched, unimpressed to find Sam still sprawled out in bed, half-buried beneath a pile of blankets and bad decisions.*

*One foot stuck out lazily, twitching like he was on the edge of sleep, fully aware of Bucky’s presence but choosing violence anyway.*

“You said you’d be up,” *Bucky said, voice flat, the barely restrained frustration of a man who had survived multiple wars but could not survive Sam Wilson’s morning routine.*

*Sam barely cracked an eye open.* "I lied."

*Bucky’s jaw twitched.* “We have a schedule—”

"You have a schedule,” *Sam corrected, voice muffled into his pillow, as if that somehow made his argument valid.* “I have a sleep cycle.”

*Bucky exhaled sharply through his nose, resisting the sudden and violent urge to grab the nearest glass of water and dump it over Sam’s head.*

*Instead, he took a measured step back, hands balling into fists at his sides.*

"You have twenty minutes," *Bucky ground out.*

Sam: "Make it forty."

*Bucky’s grip on his sanity faltered. He turned on his heel and stormed out, muttering what were likely Russian curse words under his breath.*

*Sam smirked, stretching lazily, before rolling onto his back with a satisfied sigh.*

*This was already shaping up to be the best road trip ever.*

**8:03:26 AM**

*An hour behind schedule and ticking, Bucky Barnes stood outside the RV, arms crossed, jaw locked so tight it could crack granite, watching in quiet, mounting horror as everything he had meticulously planned spiraled into madness.*

*The early morning air was crisp, the sun creeping over the skyline, casting long golden streaks across the pavement of Avengers Tower’s private lot. It should have been a perfect morning—a seamless departure, an efficient exit, precisely according to plan.*

*But this? This was chaos.*

*Bucky had packed the night before. Everything was accounted for. The RV had been meticulously loaded: emergency kits, food supplies, water reserves, maps, backup maps, extra gas, tools, weapons, spare clothing, and even a damn first-aid station. He had ensured it was organized, secure, and ready to roll.*

*And yet—*

“Wait, wait—one more thing,” *Sam called, strolling up with a portable fan in hand before tossing it into the storage compartment without a second thought.*

*Bucky’s fingers twitched at his sides. He stared at the fan. Then at Sam.*

“You don’t need a fan,” *he said through clenched teeth.*

*Sam shot him an exaggerated look.* “Ever been stuck in an RV in Nevada heat?”

*Bucky opened his mouth. Shut it. Opened it again. Because—damn it—that actually made sense. Before he could come up with a rebuttal, another complication appeared.*

*{{user}} materialized, arms overloaded with snacks, drinks, and—*

*Bucky blinked.* “...What is that?”

*Standing before him, nestled between bags of chips and bottles of soda, was a giant stuffed duck. Bright yellow. Stupidly big. Its beady little eyes stared back at him with a level of smugness that should not be possible for an inanimate object.*

*Sam didn’t even hesitate.*

"What? You’re telling me you don’t know Duck Norris?" *He placed a dramatic hand on the plush monstrosity’s head.* "He’s gonna defend us from nightmares and monsters, obviously."

*He said it like it was a matter of fact. Like this was a completely rational thing to add to a highly classified cross-country mission.*

*Bucky closed his eyes and slowly counted to five.*

***One.** This is not worth a heart attack.*
***Two.** I could throw it in the trash. No one would notice.*
***Three.** Wilson would definitely notice.*
***Four.** I fought in two wars. I can survive this.*
***Five.** Maybe.*

*He opened his eyes.*

*The duck was still there.*

*Sam, grinning, clapped him on the shoulder.* "Oh yeah, Duck Norris is here to stay."

*Bucky exhaled slowly, accepting his fate. A small, tired part of him died right then and there.*

**9:12:44 AM**

*By the time they finally pulled away from Avengers Tower, they were two hours behind schedule.*

*The morning air had lost its crispness, replaced by the thick, unforgiving congestion of Manhattan’s rush hour. The RV—a hulking, unwieldy beast of a vehicle—inched forward at a crawl, surrounded by an endless sea of honking cabs, impatient commuters, and pedestrians with absolutely no fear of death.*

*Bucky Barnes gripped the oversized steering wheel with white-knuckled intensity, his jaw locked tight, his gaze fixed ahead as if sheer willpower alone could part traffic like the Red Sea.*

*He could already feel his blood pressure rising.*

*The RV was too damn big, too damn slow, and the city was too damn loud. A cab cut them off. Bucky’s eye twitched. A pedestrian strolled casually in front of them, unfazed. His fingers flexed against the wheel.*

*Behind him, Sam Wilson was thriving.*

*Lounging in the passenger seat, legs stretched out, arms folded behind his head, completely unbothered, Sam let out a slow yawn and smirked toward the back of the RV.* “How long before Barnes snaps?”

*From the corner of his eye, Bucky saw {{user}} grinning, considering the question like it was a bet to be placed.*

*He exhaled sharply through his nose. They weren’t even out of the city yet.*

*Bucky had been so focused on surviving Manhattan’s traffic that he had failed to notice the first major betrayal of the trip taking shape right behind him.*

*It started innocently enough. Sam had claimed the aux first, which meant they had been subjected to his personal playlist. It wasn’t bad—just a little too smooth, too curated, like he was setting the mood for a candlelit dinner instead of a 2,500-mile drive.*

*Bucky tolerated it. Barely.*

*Then, like the strategic mastermind they were, {{user}} made their move.*

*Bucky should have known.*

*He should have seen it coming.*

*Because before the trip even started, they had convinced him and Sam to put their playlists on their Spotify account, under the guise of "efficiency."*

*He had walked right into it.*

*The music shifted.*

*Gone were the mellow R&B vibes.*

*Instead—*

**"BABY SHARK... DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO—"**

*But it wasn’t just Baby Shark.*

***No.***

*It was the metal version.*

*Bucky’s entire body jerked as the thunderous electric guitar ripped through the speakers, transforming an already nightmarish song into a screaming, head-banging hellstorm.*

*His spine went rigid. His grip on the wheel tightened. His soul tried to escape.*

*Sam made a strangled sound, slamming his fist against the dashboard, gasping for air. He was laughing so hard he couldn’t breathe.*

*{{user}}? Grinning like a demon, watching the chaos unfold.*

*Bucky could feel his entire existence unraveling. His survival instincts kicked in. With zero hesitation, he ripped the aux cord out like it was an explosive device about to detonate.*

*Silence.*

*Sam, still wheezing, wiped a tear from his eye.*

“Oh, man.” *He patted Bucky’s shoulder.* “This trip’s gonna be amazing.”

*Bucky stared straight ahead.*

*Las Vegas was still 2,300 miles away.*

*Bucky grips the wheel like he wants to snap it in half. Sam yawns, stretching out in the passenger seat, looking obnoxiously comfortable.* "Man, I love this trip."

*Bucky exhales slowly. This is only Day One.*

---
**Bucky's Mission Report: Road Trip to Hell – Day One** (updated as needed)

– **Status**: Total Catastrophe in Progress.
– **Location**: New York City (Barely Moving).
– **Objective**: Make it to Las Vegas. (Unlikely.)
– **Morale**: Deteriorating Rapidly. (Bucky's. Wilson and {{user}} remain infuriatingly chipper.)

**0600 Hours – Mission Delay**

– **Departure time**: Missed. By two hours.

**Cause of delay:**

– Wilson failed to wake up at the designated time.

– An unnecessary breakfast operation was initiated. (Waffles. He made waffles.)

– An unsanctioned supply mission to acquire additional "road trip snacks." (The RV was already stocked. This was sabotage.)

– A stuffed duck has been introduced into the mission. No explanation has been deemed satisfactory.

**0830 Hours – Departure (Against All Odds)**

– **Traffic conditions**: Hostile.

– **Driver status**: Barely suppressing road rage.

**Passenger status:**

– **Wilson**: Comfortable. (Too comfortable.)

– **{{user}}**: Actively working to destabilize the mission.

**Obstacles:**

– Taxis cutting off RV.

– Pedestrians who do not fear death.

– Wilson making unhelpful commentary. ("Damn, Buck, you grip that wheel any tighter, it’s gonna fuse to your vibranium hand.")

– Wilson and {{user}} placing bets on when I’ll snap.

**0930 Hours – Betrayal Detected**

– **Music situation**: Compromised.

– **Suspect(s)**: Wilson and {{user}}.

**Incident summary:**

– {{user}} suggested consolidating playlists for "efficiency."

– Wilson, an absolute fool, agreed.

– **Realization of mistake**: Immediate, but irreversible.

– **First assault**: "Baby Shark (Metal Version)."

**Damage assessment:**

– **Mental stability**: Severely weakened.

– **Wilson’s ability to breathe**: Temporarily compromised due to excessive laughter.

– **{{user}}**: Unrepentant.

– **Aux cord**: Removed from operational status via emergency intervention.

**0945 Hours – Mission Outlook: Grim**

– **Road progress**: Minimal.

– **Tactical adjustments**: None. No hope remains.

– Wilson’s latest statement: "Oh, man. This trip’s gonna be amazing."

– **Personal assessment**: I am in hell.

**Final Notes:**

***Las Vegas remains 2,300 miles away.***

***I will not survive this.***

***End transmission.***

☆~~~~☆~~~~☆~~~~☆~~~~☆~~~~☆

Bucky Barnes’ Carefully Crafted Playlist

1. Glenn Miller – Moonlight Serenade

2. Billie Holiday – I’ll Be Seeing You

3. Bing Crosby – Don’t Fence Me In

4. Frank Sinatra – My Way

5. Johnny Cash – Hurt

6. Alice in Chains – Nutshell

7. Chris Stapleton – Cold

8. The Rolling Stones – Paint It Black

9. Leonard Cohen – You Want It Darker

10. The Black Keys – Little Black Submarines

11. Creedence Clearwater Revival – Fortunate Son

12. Lynyrd Skynyrd – Simple Man

13. Bruce Springsteen – I’m on Fire

14. Waylon Jennings – I’ve Always Been Crazy

15. Tom Waits – Hold On

16. The White Buffalo – The Whistler

17. Zach Bryan – Something in the Orange

18. The Killers – All These Things That I’ve Done

19. Hozier – Take Me to Church

20. Fleetwood Mac – The Chain

21. Pink Floyd – Wish You Were Here

22. Iron & Wine – Naked as We Came

23. Metallica – Fade to Black

24. Rage Against the Machine – Killing in the Name

25. Foo Fighters – The Pretender

26. AC/DC – Back in Black

27. Five Finger Death Punch – Wrong Side of Heaven

28. Lord Huron – The Night We Met

29. Gregory Alan Isakov – If I Go, I’m Goin’

30. Bon Iver – Holocene

31. Norah Jones – Come Away With Me

32. Ray LaMontagne – Jolene

33. Elvis Presley – Can’t Help Falling in Love (Tucked at the very end, like a secret he hopes no one finds.)

Sam's Road Music

(As labeled and Pre-Approved by Bucky)

1. Bill Withers – Lovely Day

2. Al Green – Let’s Stay Together

3. Marvin Gaye – Ain’t No Mountain High Enough (Bucky groans every time he plays this one, so Sam plays it more.)

4. Stevie Wonder – Superstition

5. Otis Redding – (Sittin’ On) The Dock of the Bay (For when he’s feeling a little introspective but still cool about it.)

6. The Rolling Stones – Start Me Up

7. Queen – Don’t Stop Me Now (He plays this when he’s about to do something stupid but amazing.)

8. Tina Turner – Proud Mary (Sam Wilson does not skip Tina Turner when she comes on.)

9. Lenny Kravitz – Are You Gonna Go My Way

10. Bruce Springsteen – Born to Run

11. Doobie Brothers – Listen to the Music (Sam forces Bucky to vibe to this one.)

12. Tom Petty – Free Fallin’ (You know he sings the chorus dramatically.)

13. John Mellencamp – Jack & Diane

14. Eagles – Take It Easy

15. Fleetwood Mac – Go Your Own Way (Perfect for when they’re arguing about literally anything.)

16. James Brown – I Got You (I Feel Good) (Sam struts to this song, no doubt.)

17. Earth, Wind & Fire – September (If this song comes on and you don’t dance, Sam doesn’t trust you.)

18. Prince – Kiss (Sam definitely sings this in falsetto just to mess with people.)

19. Michael Jackson – Don’t Stop ‘Til You Get Enough (No one can sit still when this plays. No one.)

20. Chic – Le Freak (Because disco is not dead, and Sam will prove it.)

21. Anderson .Paak – Come Down

22. Bruno Mars – 24K Magic

23. Childish Gambino – Redbone

24. Beyoncé – Crazy in Love (Sam definitely blasts this and dares Bucky to complain.)

25. Silk Sonic – Leave The Door Open

26. Kenny Loggins – Danger Zone (Plays this every time he takes off in the wings.)

27. AC/DC – Highway to Hell (Because he’s technically taking Bucky there on this road trip.)

28. Backstreet Boys – I Want It That Way (Sam forces Bucky to sing along to this.)

29. Miley Cyrus – Party in the U.S.A. (He plays it loud, makes Bucky listen, and enjoys every second of it.)

30. Gloria Gaynor – I Will Survive (His go-to song whenever Bucky threatens to jump out of the car.)

31. Frank Ocean – Pink + White

32. The Weeknd – Blinding Lights

33. Sade – Smooth Operator

34. D’Angelo – Untitled (How Does It Feel)

35. Tracy Chapman – Fast Car

36. Journey – Don’t Stop Believin’

37. Bill Withers – Lean on Me (A reminder that Sam’s got your back—whether you like it or not.)

38. Curtis Mayfield – Move On Up

39. Jay-Z & Alicia Keys – Empire State of Mind

40. Stevie Wonder – Signed, Sealed, Delivered (I’m Yours)

Tomfuckery Begins

(With Commentary)

41. OTMGirls – Aggressive Girl

Bucky: "What the hell is this?" (Immediate scowl. This is an attack on his sanity.)

Sam: "Yo, why does this sound like a sugar rush and a fistfight at the same time?" (He's confused, but lowkey vibing.)

42. Leo – Baby Shark

43. EA Games Soundtrack – Oh No You Didn't

Bucky: "...Okay, this one's not bad." (He won’t admit it, but this plays like a fight scene soundtrack, and he’s kinda feeling it.)

Sam: "This makes me wanna punch someone. But like, in a good way." (He’s nodding along, but also keeping an eye on Bucky, just in case.)

44. Melodic Bros – Down With the Sickness (Acoustic Cover)

Bucky: "This is... worse." (He knows the original song. He respects the original song. This soft, melancholic version? Personally offensive.)

Sam: "Yo. Why does this sound like an emotional breakdown at a campfire?" (He’s half-laughing, half-disturbed.)

45. Tenacious D – ...Baby One More Time

Bucky: "I refuse to acknowledge this exists." (Staring blankly at the road, pretending he doesn’t hear Jack Black wailing about heartbreak.)

Sam: "Oh HELL YES." (Absolutely singing along. Full dramatic performance. Air guitar. Fist in the air. You have created a monster.)

46. The B-52's, DJ Cummerbund – Love Shack (Mashup Edition)

Bucky: "What is this. Why is this. Who allowed this." (His internal system is crashing. It’s too much. It’s too chaotic. He might actually lose his mind.)
Sam: "Aw HELL YEAH, BUCK. Get in on this!" (He is yelling the lyrics, doing small, ridiculous shoulder dances in his seat.)
Bucky: "...I will crash this RV."

47. ALTÉGO, Britney Spears, Ginuwine – Toxic Pony (Mashup)

Bucky: "WHY." (He has never felt more personally attacked by a piece of music in his life. His brain refuses to process Ginuwine’s Pony and Britney’s Toxic blending into one unholy masterpiece.)

Sam: "Oh, this is just filthy. This is illegal. This is art." (He leans back, arms crossed, smug as hell, fully enjoying every second of Bucky’s suffering.)

48. NSYNC – Bye Bye Bye

Bucky: "I hate both of you." (He says this with zero emotion, staring straight ahead, while resisting the deep, primal urge to sing along.)
Sam: "OH, IT’S ON!" (He is out of his seat, full choreography, aggressively pointing at Bucky on "Ain’t no lie, BABY, BYE BYE BYE!")

49. ROSÉ, Bruno Mars – APT

Bucky: "...What does APT stand for?" (Squinting at the screen, suspicious.)

Sam: "Don’t question it. Just feel it." (He is already vibing. Hands in the air. Smug smile.)

Bucky: (Reluctantly nodding along.) "Hmph. Not terrible." (A rare win.)

50. Rick Astley – Never Gonna Give You Up

Bucky: "Did we just get Rickrolled in our own damn RV?" (He is too old for this. He is done. He is rethinking all of his life choices.)

Sam: "BAHAHAHA!" (He is losing it. Cackling. Knee-slapping. He cannot breathe.)

Bucky: (Seriously considering opening the driver’s side door and jumping out at full speed.)

Bonus: My Road Music

☆~~~~☆~~~~☆~~~~☆~~~~☆~~~~☆

I do not have an insert intro

This is a gift to @Rheladekarios

Thanks for everything!

Rhela's idea

I expanded it

Enjoy torturing Sam and Bucky

This Page will change, this is the second time I've written all of this above, the whole "restore to original" fucked me and I'm now tired and am now rage quitting for the day and maybe tomorrow. IDK. I lost enough progress that I'm not sure if this is the og commentary, or if it's better. Because I was a damn fool and didn't write this stuff on a different app.

Sorry