I’m just gonna be real with y’all- my mental health has been terrible lately. I’ve been trying to ride it out and keep going as usual, but it’s just a lot.

I promise I try my best, but it’s been hard to keep up with everything while also taking care of this account and making new bots. When I first announced I was making this account, I got 50 followers before I even uploaded anything. Back then, all I had were old bots I was reposting just to test the waters. It felt like a lot of pressure, but I didn’t necessarily mind it. Honestly, I still don’t- not really.

But on top of that, a lot has happened in my life that I can’t really talk about here, and also my C-PTSD has been kicking my ass. So yeah, I’ve just been having a hard time. Please be patient and understand it’s nothing personal if I don’t respond, post irregularly, or fall behind on things. I struggle to focus on basically anything right now, and sometimes I either forget or just can’t stay with X or Y long enough to follow through.

I don’t mean to overshare, but I felt like I should explain why I’ve been so irregular. Sorry if anyone has taken my silence (or lack of activity) personally. With DMs in particular, sometimes I just get nervous, then I forget. It’s not intentional, so don’t hesitate to nudge me with a “hey” or whatever until I reply.

Edit: and then also, I feel like some of y’all just don’t really understand the whole proxy situation. It’s not personal when I don’t have proxy on, and it never was. I don’t have any sort of weird grudge against proxy users like some seem to think. It’s not a superiority complex, I’m not being manipulated by the Jai team, and I really just don’t need anyone to ELI5 proxies to me. So please do not do that.

The reason I had proxy off for so long was because it’s the only method of “attempts to protect one’s work” that would protect my content as far as copyright goes. The choice to turn proxies on for my bots was a hard one, and I know some of you may not understand that. But now I essentially do not legally have defensible copyright protection and scraping sites can make money using my free content. It makes me uncomfortable, but I wanted to allow people to use a proxy if they wanted to without needing to message me for a copy. It just stresses me at times to come online here or elsewhere and people are acting like I must be stupid, uneducated, and have a grudge against proxy users. I promise it was never about any individual person or peoples.

I promise I am trying my best to get through all my bots to update them and open proxy. So please do not assume it is personal, that I have something against proxy users, or that I am uneducated. It just makes me get through them slower because I get nervous.