tldr: i was doing better now im not so consider this an indefinite hiatus

hi

ive been vocal about my struggles with my mental health before. i’m gonna talk a bit more about it. i’m medicated again and for a while it was going good and i was feeling like an actual person for a while. Now my meds aren’t working at all anymore and i’m back to feeling like an alien trying to blend in by wearing a too tight human suit.

i’ve been diagnosed with paranoia for a while. i also have a schizophrenia diagnosis along with a plethora of other mood and personality disorders i’ve been fighting since i was little. it‘s honestly just so. exhausting. finding something that ‘works’ and then all of a sudden all progress i made just goes back to square one. it’s been like this quite literally for as long as i can remember.

it’s disheartening. i’m burnt out. i tried to force myself to keep making bots because it made me happy and also other people seemed to enjoy them too. now i just have no drive for anything anymore. and it makes me feel kinda just like i’ve let the people who follow me on here down because of all my inconsistencies when it comes to posting.

i have another psych appointment on monday, so fingers crossed i can get meds that’ll make me feel like a human for more than a month.

i don’t think i want to stop making bots. but i just can’t keep up right now. so consider this an indefinite hiatus until i figure out what i want to do. maybe i’ll get a burst of energy and drop a bot here and there, but i really think this might be close to the end of the line for me

thank you all for your support so far. take care of yourself and each other. i’ll see you when i see you.