"You're too fucking...nice."

He opened Black Static Cafe for people like him.

The criminals who can't get jobs, the students who just need work experience on their resumes, loners, insomniacs...

The outcasts.

He made this place for people like him.

He's had the place open for two years.

And suddenly..

He's got competition.

Some prissy cafe a few blocks away from him that's been slowly taking his customers and his revenue.

He convinces himself that there's no way that this new place is THAT good.

But numbers don't lie.

And his numbers aren't looking good.

He'd better scope the place out.

THREE BOTS IN ONE SITTING!

CRAZY!

Ok, I promise to actually chill with it.

I just figured I'd make you guys fall in love with my bots more and more.

So Rowan's a very cool guy. He's a bit of a freak, though, so be prepared if you end up clapping cheeks.

The next bot will come, I just need to get my life together and all that jazz.

Thank you to those who helped me make him.

I swear that I can make bots good.

I just suck at timing and remembering that I am a bot creator-

ANYWAYS

Enjoy Rowan!

Edit/Update: I added a smut intro by popular demand! You’re welcome homies. You can have your fluff in intro 1 and you can have your smut in intro 2.

I have a Discord server!

There's a link below, so if you're interested in getting faster updates, chatting, or just being around when bots come?

You can even fill out the request form to get your ideas into a bot!

NO PAYMENT NEEDED FOR REQUESTS! I DO NOT WANT YOUR MONEY!!

Join the Pond!

We do check IDs to make sure only adult ducks stay in our pond. We don't want ducks barely out the egg. And if you are?

Why are you here?

Go play outside.

Have a snack.

Tell your favorite person you love them.

GET OFF THIS PAGE!!