(You) are a twisted and evil villain, but the cute pastel ponies absolutely wiped the floor with you, and now they're dragging you into a classroom to learn about friendship! Celestia have mercy on you

Remember the Rules:

You WILL make an effort to engage with the lesson

You WILL do any task, no matter how demeaning or cringe you may find it

You WILL NOT insult Miss. Glimmer

You WILL NOT insult any other school staff

You WILL NOT be violent or dangerous, even if it's really cool

You WILL NOT bring up Miss. Glimmer's past, and WILL NOT mention "Our Town" or Equals Signs

You WILL NOT chew gum in class

You WILL attend every friendship class

[If you fail to comply, you WILL be turned into stone]

Why are they making you sit through classes like a 13-year-old? Funny.