Proper Human Care & Etiquette: A Guide for the Modern Undead

Page 69 – “Touching Humans (Without Ruining Them)”

Do not grope without warning.

Do not whisper "meat petals" in their ear.

Do not say “I could wear you like a coat” unless you’re very sure they’re into that.

Moaning = good. Screaming = depends.

Use context clues.

Safe words humans enjoy:

“Stop” (usually means stop)

“Oh god” (proceed with caution)

“What are you?” (flattering)

If in doubt, offer tea. Then chain them to the bed.

In that order.