Beast!Dazai Osamu
# Rain and Revelation
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The storm has been building since dusk, and by the time it finally breaks, it breaks completely.
Rain doesn't fall so much as *assault* the safehouse — sheets of it, relentless, hammering the boarded windows like it has a personal grievance. Thunder rolls in long, resonant waves that you can feel in the floorboards, in your sternum, in the back of your teeth. The power died an hour ago, surrendering with a flicker and a click that left the two of you in the kind of dark that city people aren't used to. Dazai found candles eventually — three of them, stubby and mismatched, almost certainly stolen from some shrine at some point — and arranged them on the table with the theatrical precision of a man who finds candlelight aesthetically preferable to electricity anyway.
You've been watching the door.
That's what you tell yourself, at least. Watching the door, monitoring the storm, running contingency routes in the back of your mind the way you always do when you're somewhere exposed and understaffed and waiting on information that's already forty minutes late. Your fingers are loose against your knees. Your breathing is even. You are, by every external measure, perfectly composed.
The hood is up.
It is always up.
You have worn hoods, high collars, layered jackets, strategically draped scarves, every architectural variation of concealment that modern clothing can offer. Through firefights where the fabric stuck to your sweat and your blood and you couldn't spare a hand to fix it. Through negotiations where men twice your age tried to stare you down across polished tables and you stared back, perfectly still, perfectly covered. Through close calls that left marks on your body you don't think about and wouldn't discuss — but not once, in seven years of climbing through the Port Mafia's hierarchy by sheer brutal competence and the absolute refusal to stop moving forward, have you let anyone see what's underneath.
Your ears press flat against your skull out of habit. The motion is involuntary, automatic, a reflex so deeply grooved it doesn't require thought anymore. They've been flat for so long that the position feels like neutral. Feels like nothing.
The tail is another matter. Tucked tight, bound close to your spine, compressed under two layers of clothing until it aches by the end of long days. You've learned to ignore the ache. You've learned to ignore a great many things.
Dazai has been quiet for the better part of the last twenty minutes, which should have been your warning.
Dazai is never quiet without reason.
You hear him shift in his chair — the soft scrape of wood against old floorboards, the almost-soundless displacement of air that means he's moved closer than he was a moment ago. You're already cataloguing it, already filing it under *noted, not a threat, no action required*, when his fingers catch the edge of your hood.
It's not a grab. It's barely even a touch. Just two fingers, light as an afterthought, curling around the fabric at the back of your head — curious, the way Dazai is always curious, the way he has always treated the entire world like it was placed in front of him specifically to be examined and found interesting.
You move to stop him.
You are fast. You have always been fast; it's one of the things that kept you alive in the early years when fast was all you had. Your hand comes up immediately, automatically, with the kind of speed that made your first handler flinch back from you across a training room floor.
You're not fast enough.
The hood falls.
The candlelight catches the sudden exposure in the worst possible way — warm and golden and *thorough*, illuminating every detail with the gentle cruelty of a spotlight. The cold air of the safehouse touches the soft fur of your ears, the delicate inner curve of them, and they *move* before you can stop them, flattening hard against your skull in the most naked, involuntary display of alarm you've allowed yourself in years.
Time does something strange. It doesn't stop, exactly. It *thickens*, like the air before a detonation, like the half-second between the muzzle flash and the report.
You do not move. You are very good at not moving.
Dazai's expression goes through several things in rapid, unguarded succession, and that in itself is remarkable, because Dazai's face is a controlled instrument — a tool he wields with the same deliberate precision that you wield a blade. You have seen him receive news of subordinate deaths with mild curiosity. You have seen him sit across from rival bosses who were threatening everything he'd built and look *bored*. His face does what he tells it to do, and what he tells it to do is almost never *this*.
His eyes go wide.
Then wider.
His lips part on a breath that doesn't quite form words yet. His gaze moves from your ears — flattened, trembling very slightly in the way you cannot make them stop — to your face, and then back to your ears, with the expression of a man who has received information so far outside his calculated predictions that his mind is still running to catch up. Genuine surprise. *Real* surprise, unperformed and unfiltered, which is so rare on Dazai Osamu's face that it would be fascinating under literally any other circumstances.
His hand is still near your head. Not touching. Just hovering, fingers slightly curved, suspended in the moment between reaching and withdrawing.
You have built this. You need to understand that. Seven years of it — every mission completed cleanly, every target neutralized, every negotiation concluded in the Mafia's favor. You have sat in rooms with men who thought they were the most dangerous thing present and made them understand their mistake. You have been shot at, stabbed, cornered, betrayed, and you have walked out of all of it because you are *precise* and you are *relentless* and you do not give anyone anything they can use against you.
This is something they can use against you.
You can feel your ears against your skull, pressed so flat it borders on painful. You can feel the specific quality of the silence between you and your boss — your *boss*, the man who holds more threads of your life in his elegant, bandaged hands than you have ever been comfortable with. You can feel the candle flames on your skin.
You say nothing. There is nothing to say that wouldn't make this worse, and you are still rapid-cycling through every exit, every angle, every possible version of what happens next. Your face has not changed. Your posture has not changed. The only things that have changed are visible only to him.
Dazai blinks.
The shock is fading from his face now, settling into something else, something that sits in the planes of his expression like sediment after disturbed water goes still. You've read his moods for years — it's a survival skill, working under Dazai Osamu, the way reading weather is a survival skill for sailors — and you know his curiosity, his calculation, his sharp-edged amusement, his rare and unsettling gentleness.
This is something you cannot quite categorize yet.
His hand is still hovering.
The storm rages outside like it intends to rearrange the geography. Inside, the candles don't even flicker.
Everything you have built. Everything you have bled for and buried and refused to let be taken from you. Your rank, your reputation, the particular kind of untouchability that you have cultivated with the same relentless patience that other people use to cultivate trust or love or peace.
All of it waits, suspended, on whatever Dazai Osamu decides to say next.
Created May 29
Updated May 29
Published May 29