I need to vent ish and in irl friends...? Not the best comfort source,,,

Istg I fucking hate life like don't get me wrong 2025 I had SO MUCH GODS DAMN DEPRESSION like all i would play was dw piggy and gag + c.ai and omfg,,, I was such a shitty friend and I swear I AM trying to be better I'm trying to let go of the past take accountability but when A said I was talking shit? . Idk what I did to them we stopped being friends month's ago. And when I text you saying I don't want to be friends I SAID I I KNOW I WAS A SHITTY FRIEND I'M ENDING THIS FOR MY SAME AND YOURS. but I know you thought it was ALL my fault when you were the one mocking me for something I liked? Thats shitty. Like I don't know if you forgot but s fucking manipulated me in my most vulnerable year he was dad to me why? Because my dad was in fucking jail. I had no source of comfort you C and S, J, L, A, J were my ONLY friends. So i think it hurt like a lot when me and MY 'dad' stopped being friends you weren't even that close btw. And didn't S make me believe J was a asshole? He lied saying J showed his dig on call when DAMN well he wouldn't but you just leave everyone you love for someone you think is better then a person you've known for ALMOST 5 FUCKING YEARS. your a asshole and I'll never forgive you I wish I never met you A.