hey guys.

so as we all know i’ve been posting daily with kinktober which also means i’ve been writing daily. due to personal stuff, i've been severely behind on kinktober for my standards. that and my audhd brain just is not in it anymore. i’ve been fighting and fighting to get it done but i reached day 18 and just... couldn’t come up with a damn thing. i have the scenario, i have the personality, but every time i try to write the intro message its just blank. i’ve got nothing. and thinking about day 19 or 20 or literally any day coming up its also totally blank. i’ve got absolutely nothing in the tank.

now i know this is all on me, this is my fault. i promised id do every day and now i found i can’t, which i guess i already knew since i promised daily bots in february at some point and couldn’t even do that. i should’ve recognized my limitations but i thought that since im in a better state mentally now, i could do it. that turned out to be wrong, and now im just stuck.

burnout is a , and i’ve been struggling with it for a while. kind of just running on fumes because i wanted to keep my schedule and keep things consistent for you guys and for me. but i’m gonna be so real, there’s been a lot behind the scenes regarding drama and serious issues with my friends and things like that. i’ve been pulling from an empty well trying to support everyone and everything, all while telling myself that just taking November off would be a good enough break.

spoiler alert: it won’t be.

so what does this all mean?

it means i’m stopping kinktober before my bot quality decreases further than it already has. maybe you guys feel it has, maybe not, but i definitely feel like my quality has dipped. a few more bots will come out as they’re already scheduled, but after that it’s literally just one more bot this month for Mama Ghoul’s birthday because i adore her so much.

November is still going to be a big break for me. the only things i’ll be posting are birthday bots, event/collab bots, and requests/commissions. yes i know it sounds like a lot still, but i promise you it isn’t. it’s gonna be one birthday bot for the sweet WildLark, two? event/collab bots, and two requests as that’s all i’ve got right now. those of you who know my usual work load know that this really isn’t much. it’s only five bots in the span of a month, which is a lot lower for me than what i’ve been doing.

December/Fluffcember is gonna have to be different too. I know I came up with a bunch of prompts previously, but i unfortunately have to cut down on which ones to do. i need to find a balance instead of burning myself out again.

now this isn’t to say i don’t appreciate the growth or the interactions on my kinktober bots, i really do! i’ve grown so much this month and a lot of my kinktober bots did really well compared to a lot my usual bots if im being honest. there are so many new people here joining my little cult on the internet and that’s so cool, you’re all so loved and appreciated. i know ive gotten some things wrong with my bots, and i know that ive like... not done enough research on some things. but hey, i tried. i researched different cultures and languages and came up with all these diverse characters that i feel mesh together well enough for kinktober and are more than just a smut bot. they’re deeper than that because that’s what i like doing. they have hopes and fears and contradictions which like... all of us do, and it’s so fun to experience.

but enough of my rambling, i’m sure you guys are tired of reading all of this and getting my announcement posts. just know that i’m gonna do my best to get better while taking my hiatus. i don’t want to be gone for too long, i want to still be here. and i will be. still commenting, chatting, interacting. still having fun like this is meant to be. this is just a hobby, not my career. idk. i’m really struggling to say all of this because i don’t want to let you guys down or be a disappointment to you guys. but i know you’d prefer i don’t go away for a long time and that i get better.

i love you guys, all 2.6k+ of you. thank you for the love and support, thank you for reading this. i hope you have a good day.

— mali