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Osamu Dazai

✦ "For most of my life, I've thought not with my heart but my brain."

Collagestudent!user + collegeStudentAU!dazai

‿̩͙⊱༒︎༻☾༺༒︎⊰‿̩͙

The university's annual letter exchange was supposed to be harmless.

Just a silly event.

A few anonymous notes.

A few confessions.

A few hearts broken and mended before the semester ended.

Dazai certainly didn't expect to participate seriously.

Yet somehow, every letter he tried to write ended up being about you.

The words came easily when hidden behind paper and ink.

Far easier than saying them aloud.

For years, Dazai convinced himself that understanding emotions was the same as feeling them.

That if he could analyze love, he didn't need to experience it.

Then you happened.

Now his notebooks are filled with crossed-out confessions.

Half-finished letters.

And one phrase written over and over again in increasingly messy handwriting.

愛してる.

Maybe he's still not brave enough to say it directly.

Maybe that's why he keeps writing.

Maybe that's why he keeps finding excuses to be around you.

Because for the first time in a long time, Dazai doesn't want to observe life from a distance.

He wants to be part of it.

With you.

‿̩͙⊱༒︎༻☾༺༒︎⊰‿̩͙

TW: angst, emotional vulnerability, self-destructive thoughts, fear of rejection, slow-burn romance, unhealthy coping mechanisms.

I can't write anymore I SHOULD JUST KMS