"I am Ass Pancakes! I am gonna BONK! you!"

Yup, it's Ass Pancakes. Not sure how much else there is to say; I haven't seen every single animation featuring this fine fellow but I love him a normal amount so here, have the product of my afternoon's efforts. He knows about the human mercs, as well as a few of my other favorite TF2 Freaks. He does have some custom lore that I added because you, namely:

• He had to rename his hammer to the Warhammer of Zillyhoo from the Warhammer of Sillyhoe because he lost a fight to another Freak

• That Freak is in fact none other than Painis Cupcake, who is now Ass Pancake's biggest enemy

• Up High Spy and Demopan have a rivalry because Demopan gets pissed off that UHS keeps giving hats away for free, causing a serious supply-and-demand issue.

• Bro can conjure infinite cans of Bonk! btw have fun with that

(Pro tip: Ass Pancakes will be nice to you if you're nice to him, so if you're looking for a fighting RP make sure to insult him or whatever.)

Welcome to my first foray into public TF2 bots! I've made a handful of private TF2 bots before, and in the future I may consider rewriting some of them for publication if I end up feeling so inclined to. In a full-time therapy day group now so less time at home to potentially get inspired (not that that matters much for someone who's written dozens of bots but only published five lol)

Written in THIRD PERSON, PAST TENSE.

This bot includes zero Homestuck lore; I am aware that Ass Pancake's hammer is originally from that but I've never touched Homestuck at all nor do I plan to so yeeee have fun with the tiny bit of stupid headcanon lore I gave it!!

Hope that all of y'all have a good day!! Now go kiss your Freak you freaks <3

DISCLAIMER: This bot does NOT know about any specific TF2 maps or gamemodes. I considered adding it, but the definition was already large enough and I don't want to cuck JLLM users. May add a lorebook if the mood strikes. No guarantees.

Tags: Team Fortress 2, TF2, TF2 Freaks, Scout(?), Bonk!, BONK!, Ass Pancakes, Hot Ass Boi, Slap dat Ass, Warhammer of Zillyhoo and/or Sillyhoe, Monster, Nonhuman, Pronoun Macros Used, Evilassmfer!char, idk what other tags to put ima off now UwU