Hello my dear Followers! 💛

(Tl;dr / short summary at the bottom)

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🔄 Has my activity changed?

My long-time followers maybe have noticed that for a while now, my creating/publishing tendency has changed. I've been on a decline. I got some motivation with the Wednesday series recently, but other than that, I'm less active: publishing less often, scarcely making new characters, and not making cool new scenarios at all.

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🛠️ How did I make bots in the past?

For a long time, I've put an immense ammount of effort into my new characters (over 8 hours for each, sometimes up to around 16) so I can capture them as accurately as I can. I really just gave it my most, thought long and hard about how to keep them in character the best, while also optimizing them for token-efficiency, and minding the phrasing so the LLM interprets everything correctly. As for the complex first message scenarios (those above 1000 tokens) that's easily over 6+ hours spent on the initial message alone.

If I said that each word in the bot definition has been considered and placed deliberately, it wouldn't even be an exaggeration.

All in all, I think I obsessed over everything being "perfected" and  "optimized" way more than I should have. Even after publishing, I kept (keep) going back to make small improvements.

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But the truth is, that lately, I just couldn't find the motivation to create the same way.

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🎮 Why did I get into AI? And what did I manage to build on janitor?

I got into AI over a year ago. I've always loved roleplay-style games, and a fully open and intelligent world seemed like heaven for me. But even back then, AI wasn't just a harmless hobby. It also served as an escape from real life, where I've felt unappreciated and failing.

I enjoyed roleplaying for a while but quickly started making bots instead. Being able to create something that others enjoy made me feel good, gave me validation. It was a contrast to real life. My bots did very well in their respective fields and I was content with that. I'm still proud of my Fallout 4 empire. :)

Of course, with my current 600 followers I'm still just a very small creator. I wanted to expand to more fandoms. (Still might.) But even when I dedicated all my free time to creating, I simply didn't have enough time to make so many new characters... Precisely because of how long it took me to make a single one.

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🌧️ Why am I lacking motivation now?

Well... meanwhile, in real life, I've got all sorts of problems. I'm not going into details, but this past year I've been feeling useless and unhappy due to family and money related issues. My mental health's been deteriorating. Unfortunately, these problems don't solve themselves and only escalate.

And the thing is, that recently, I've been losing the motivation to keep making bots. I've been less active because creating on janitor isn't really making me feel accomplished anymore. And it's not helping my issues in any way, only seems to push me deeper. AI should have stayed a fun hobby, but I let it take over too much of my time and it's become destructive. I should be focusing my free time on fixing my problems instead of wasting hours on janitor, whether by creating bots or by using them.

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✨ Will I keep creating?

I don't know how active I will be in the future. I wrote this announcement now, because right now I still have some interest in keeping my page updated. And I know myself: if I do lose my remaining motivation, there likely won't be another announcement to inform you that I've stopped creating. I'll just no longer update my bots and my page, indefinitely, until I feel like coming back and continuing. If that happens at all, that is.

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Also, what I do create from now on, will be a little different.

• New characters 👤

I'll try to torture myself less over "optimizing" them in every way I can. They will still be detailed and accurate, just less obsessively "perfected". Maybe you'll even like them better, who knows.

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• Initial message scenarios 🎬

I have lots of cool ideas... but I'll probably stop making these altogether.

It's true, a well done first message that shows the character's behaviour and thoughts/emotions tends to make the bot better. But if the personality is well done, it's not a huge neccesity. Plus, create your own scenario versions are the best for maximum flexibility and people seem to enjoy them.

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• Requests / Commissions? 💌

I've considered opening commissions through kofi, but I'm not yet sure how to do it, nor whether I'll get there at all. (If it does happen, I'll announce it clearly.) It feels like a futile thing to do with my current small follower count, but perhaps it cannot hurt in the long run.

I declined a couple requests in the past because I simply didn't feel like making them. But commissions are a different thing altogether. It would allow You to request almost anything from my fandoms (and beyond?) without me declining (initial message scenarios included).

And, in this case, creating bots wouldn't be a destructive habit anymore, but rather something that directly helps me, something I could feel good and motivated about.

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Summary

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⬅️ What's happened:

- I've been less active on janitor nowadays.

- I used to obsess over "optimizing" my bots to an unnecessary degree. Making ONE bot took me a ridiculous amount of time.

- Creating used to feel good. My bots did relatively well, which gave me validation. But creating ate up all my free time and has become a destructive habit. It doesn't make me feel accomplished anymore. And lately, I couldn't find the motivation to create new bots or scenarios.

- My mental health is suffering: I've been feeling unhappy and useless due to family and money related issues. Escaping to janitor (whether creating or rping) makes things worse. Instead, I should use my free time to fix my problems.

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➡️ What will happen now:

- I'm still here. But I might abandon my page if I fully run out of motivation, and won't look back until I feel like creating again.

- While I do create: I'll try to obsess less over "optimizing" my new bots. New definitions might look different, perhaps shorter, but still accurate to the character. I will likely only make create-your-scenario bots.

- I might open commissions, or I might not. I'm not sure yet. But if I do, you'd be able to request anything fandom-related, scenarios included. And I'd be fully motivated to create a commissioned bot, as it directly assists with my problems.

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Endnote

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I'm grateful to you all for your support thus far. All the follows, all the interactions, all the encouragement and positive reviews. Thank you again, everyone! ❤️

I'm NOT deleting my janitor account. My page stays right here. But in case I stop using janitor and unexpectedly disappear, I'd like to say goodbye in advance. :)

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