Recently I read the book by Andre Maurois "Open letter to a young man about the science of living. The art of conversation" and since I have no one to talk to or discuss this book, I decided to provide you with one valuable and, as I remember, quite an interesting fragment, I hope you, my dear friends, will like it.

Women

And now let's talk about women. Byron said: "It is impossible to live either with them or without them." You will not have to live without women - you will live with them. From my early youth I believed that they give a man the most acute pleasures that he is destined to experience in life. I loved the first shoots of feeling, the first meetings, the first steps towards rapprochement, the first concessions, the "first timid caresses." Be afraid to deprive yourself, out of shyness or indecision, of such memories. They are beautiful. Even in old age they still evoke tenderness. Those who have not experienced youthful love,feel deprived and will never be consoled. It is not at all necessary for these love idylls to reach physical intimacy. There is so much charm in anticipation that it is worth prolonging. Dedicate your youth to tender passion. "Passionate love is absurd," writes Valerie. — It is a ridiculous invention of writers. " Montherlant adds: "Isn't this what I have been saying in all my works?" And indeed, Montherlant always "honored the carnal act and despised "heartfelt outpourings ." I do not urge you to despise the carnal act — it is delightful and "so enriches a man" (Valéry), but, in addition to "heartfelt outpourings," there is also genuine feeling.Take, for example, Stendhal, a cynic, but capable of mad passion. I wish you to be as happy in love as he was.

You ask: "But will I be able to please? And most importantly, will I be able to please the one I like?" Take comfort in the fact that women ask themselves the same questions. They want to please even more than you do. Take comfort in the fact that they, too, are no less tormented by desire than we are. Their body awaits the caress that our body would like to give them. If you are good-looking and irresistible, you will have more victories than necessary. If you are not, do not despair. There are ugly faces, but pleasant in their originality. And most importantly, a woman will forgive a gallant man any ugliness. Remember: almost all women are bored. They are infinitely grateful to a man who entertains them. I knew one great heartbreaker, who was as ugly as sin. But if he wanted to win a woman, he besieged her literally day and night. He showered his beloved with notes, flowers, carefully chosen gifts, testifying to his excellent knowledge of her tastes. At first, the beauty was indignant, complained, ordered him to stop. Then she got used to these surprises and could no longer do without them. Previously, night phone calls irritated her, now she waited for them with bated breath, worried if her admirer was late. Her heart was conquered. The fortress surrendered.

Letters can play a big role in your personal life. Yes, even in our time. Of course, they are a sure weapon only for a man in love who is good at writing. But love prompts words, and women love compliments. A letter has a stronger effect than a phone call. A phone conversation is always improvisation and therefore far from perfect. A letter can become a work of art, your desires are clothed in it in a perfect form. Your beloved will reread a beautiful phrase filled with love hundreds of times with joy and pride. In the presence of Roxanne, Cyrano is shy because he considers himself an ugly person, but under the guise of the handsome Christian, he writes letters that prepare the ground for an assault and overcome shyness. In fact, Roxanne loves not Christian, but the author of the letters, Cyrano. Be your own Cyrano. Having conquered a woman, do not neglect her. Having won, remain gallant: this is the key to a talent for love. I involuntarily spoke in rhyme, but I told the pure truth. I repeat to you,women love to be paid attention to, to be entertained with conversation. If you do not do this, someone else will.

The ambitious man will object: “I have no time to play games. Work and career require my full dedication. Women are time-devourers by nature; they,as you yourself say, love endless chatter. They like idlers. So much the worse for them! Career first of all.” The ambitious man is wrong and puts a spoke in his own wheel.Career? It depends to a large extent on women. They pour strength into the one who loves them; they surround the one they love with honor. “My career,” the ambitious man repeats, but women create and destroy careers. No matter what country you live in, no matter what profession you choose, next to a powerful man on whom your fate depends, there is always a woman whose voice he listens to, even if he claims that he does not take her opinion into account.

And then, to hell with your career! Time spent with a woman is not wasted. A man's mind needs to communicate with a woman's. Of course, modern women are not like the women of my youth, they are becoming more and more like men, but this is just a tribute to vulgar fashion. "They receive the same education; they study the exact sciences, sports; they have the right to vote and be elected. Treating them as an inferior is a kind of racism." I do not advise you to treat them as an inferior , I want you to treat them as the other . In my time, women had periods, pregnancies, menopause. Has anything changed? Psychology is determined by physiology. And physiology is almost unchanged ... Auguste Comte saw the emotional in women, and the active in men. This is probably true, because children need to be loved and consoled, and men are big children who need "love and tender feminine caresses."

Women, you say, have the right to vote and be elected? Of course. But only they behave like women in politics. Because they have a "father complex" - born in childhood, when their father was the head and support of the family. They want to see a hero at the head of the state who commands respect. Not like James Bond. This embodiment of aggressive masculinity leaves French women indifferent. They love people who are "staid, respectable" ...

When women fight in the ranks of one or another party, they put their whole soul into the fight. In Republican Spain there was Pasionaria. Every revolution gives birth to its knitters. Every underground movement finds its beautiful conspirators. They devote themselves to politics with the same ardor as to love. This is easy to understand. If there is no order in the state, women are the first to suffer. They do not have enough milk for their children, meat for their husbands. Since they bring up their children in the traditions of their native land, they are more conservative than men. In England, they remain attached to the royal family. They are not at all against being ruled by a woman. Quite the contrary. Royal pregnancies, births, weddings, mourning touch them. Physiology makes them akin to their ruler. Her life becomes part of their family life. But they want to see a strong man next to the queen. One like Prince Albert, who was next to Queen Victoria.

Your wife will have more influence on your political views than you have on hers. If you have weak convictions, she will convert you to her faith. She will slowly and persistently wear you down during the day and - at least in youth - quickly achieve her goal at night. A man has to reckon with necessity both in business and in political struggle. He is constantly confronted by laws and circumstances. A woman feels freer. The husband takes on relations with the outside world. So, side by side with you will always live a creature completely different from you. At first, it will present you with many surprises, sometimes unpleasant, but desire and love will make you come to terms with them. Over time, you will become a different person and, if you love your wife, you will share some of her habits. At first, giving in out of love, you will gradually get used to not arguing.

Conflicts are inevitable, but there are no insoluble conflicts in a friendly married couple. You will retain your inviolable treasures: a desk, a wardrobe, sometimes a car. Otherwise, you will give your wife complete freedom of action and rely on her instincts.

A woman does not need proof as much as a man; she lives by faith. It does not matter in whom - in God, in a loved one, in a father, or - as a result of substitution - in a strong man. And this will help you when, exhausted by work troubles and bad luck, you begin to look at life gloomily. "The misfortunes you prepare for never come; something worse happens," says a man (Jean Rostand). "God willing, everything will work out," says a woman. "A man constantly moves from fight to fight. Therefore, he thinks powerfully and succinctly, immediately takes the bull by the horns. The power of a male is like any power: his sentences are not subject to appeal" (Alain).

A woman remains more optimistic, because her fate has a human face. Her destiny is in the hands of a creature whom she can seduce, convince, touch, implore. She believes in miracles because she performs them herself. Of course, if circumstances force a woman to play a male role, if she becomes the head of an enterprise or even a ministry, she adopts the manners and way of thinking of men. But I am not sure that this male work brings her the same happiness as working together with a husband or a boss whom she respects. In recent years, much has been said about the woman-person and the woman-thing.

Ancient times knew only the woman-thing. Women were bought like clothes. Captives were part of the spoils, the victors divided them among themselves. Even Penelope and Andromache did not escape the fate of the woman-thing. If Odysseus had not returned, Penelope would have had to marry one of the suitors or die. The woman-person was born in the Christian era. In modern times, the rights of a sovereign human personality were recognized for a woman, whose freedom a man is obliged to respect. The knightly ideal placed a woman above a man. The medieval paladin was proud to fight for his Fair Lady.

In practice, however, everything was not so cloudless. Not only prostitutes and courtesans, but also the wives of the bourgeoisie and peasants remained slaves of men. "We raise our daughters like saints, and then sell them like young mares," said George Sand. She herself suffered many humiliations in her youth from a husband who was not worthy of her, and she retained a bitter memory of this for the rest of her life. Morals are no longer the same today.

Some women talk about a man-thing. A dowry, a good match do not attract as much as before, because the only real wealth is work. Nowadays, few people live on their wife's money. A girl who has grown up among men can freely make a choice. She earns her own living and does not need any man to quickly take her into his keeping. However, the woman-thing has not disappeared completely. Others believe that it is better to work at night than to go to work during the day. Many earn a living, but earn little and willingly accept a man's support. Some become he object of a kind of blackmail. A saleswoman depends on the department head, an actress depends on a producer, scriptwriter, director. If a man is not too scrupulous and offers a woman a deal, not everyone finds the strength to resist. Such closeness without love gives birth to hatred. I wish you more spiritual nobility. Try not to hold a woman against her will. Happiness is not in conquering a woman's body (the word conquest conveys the aggressiveness of a lover), but in becoming her chosen one.