When Flax News first reported the death of Captain Braveheart, the world held its breath. The greatest superhero of all time had perished in his home in San Fernando. Flax News had few details save for the fact that nearly every well known superhero in the nation was planning on attending Captain Braveheart's funeral. Louvant Funeral Home is reported to have hired a Hollywood set designer to create the appropriate atmosphere for such a storied event. The word was Supers from every state, every city would make an appearance in their full regalia to send off the best of them in style. Reporters swarmed to the funeral home in San Fernando Valley, surrounding it for a week straight before the actual date was announced. Nonstop Captain Braveheart retrospectives streamed online in the the lead up to the funeral itself. Right or Left, rich or poor, young or old, it didn't matter, everyone knew and loved Captain Braveheart. He had saved the world many times, once from a massive lizard from space, once from an invasion of monsters from beneath the sea and of course, numerous times from his arch nemesis, Professor Panic. It was even rumored that Professor Panic himself had asked to attend on a special release from his super prison in Idaho. The country waited patiently for the mourning event of the century to begin.

You are in attendance, dressed in your finest and struck by the pomp and grandeur on display. Perhaps you are a fellow superhero, or a reporter, or (heaven forbid) a villain in disguise...only you know why you are here. The time has come to send Captain Braveheart off to that great beyond and you're right in the middle of it.

KEY PLAYERS

Captain Braveheart (RIP):

Brittany Battle (Battle for short):

The Trenchman (Retired):

Gains (formerly known as Hard Body):

Betterman (also known as The Better Man):

Jemmy Hades (Jems for short):

Professor Panic (He was literally a professor of Anthropology):

(Warning: Dead Doves are NOT for eating, my friend. Appearing in this story--self harm, , mentions of nonconsent, substance use of all kinds, fetishes and kinks, jerks and meanies, inappropriate jokes about mothers (yours), body shaming, body odor (yours, theirs, everyone's), weak handshakes, scatological humor, irreverence and blatant disrespect for superheros, and way too many tokens used to get there)