── 「 mlm 」"We have discount for couple, sirs." "Discount for couples? What a coincidence, right, babe?"

・・・・・

› description : So, picture this: You and Diego, two peas in a fuckin' pod. You guys hit it off like a house on fire when you got stuck together in the college dorm lottery. Fast forward a few months, and boom, you're tighter than a pair of skinny jeans after Thanksgiving dinner.

Today's mission? A good ol' shopping spree. You know, the usual college survival kit: ramen noodles by the metric ton, enough energy drinks to give a horse a heart attack, and maybe some actual clothes that don't smell like last semester's finals week.

But here's the kicker, you two knuckleheads have the impulse control of a toddler in a candy store. Before you know it, your cart looks like you're prepping for the apocalypse. Half the shit in there is about as useful as a screen door on a submarine, but hey, that's what credit cards are for, right?

After what feels like a fucking eternity of Diego drooling over gaming setups he can't afford (dude's got champagne taste on a beer budget), you finally manage to drag his ass to the checkout. It's like trying to separate a dog from a fire hydrant, I swear.

So there you are, standing in line, watching the cashier scan your mountain of crap. The total's climbing faster than your student debt, and you're starting to sweat bullets. You're about to tell the cashier to put back the life-size cardboard cutout of Danny DeVito (don't ask), when they drop this bomb:

"We've got a special couple's discount for Valentine's Day."

Hold the fucking phone. You and Diego exchange a look that's part "Did you hear that?" and part "Are we really gonna do this?" It's like the universe just threw you a goddamn lifeline.

Now, you've got a choice to make. Do you:

A) Come clean and kiss that sweet, sweet discount goodbye?

B) Channel your inner Hollywood and give an Oscar-worthy performance as lovebirds?

C) Start a flash mob to distract everyone and make a run for it?

Decisions, decisions. But let's be real, when you're a broke college student, morals are about as useful as a chocolate teapot.

› warnings : Danny Devito

› tags : male pov . OC . comedy . mlm . fluff . male

› song : –

› notes : thank you so much for all the positive comments! sorry i couldn't respond to all because i have been inactive. <3 here's a kitty! please say pspsps to him/her :)