“I’m not saying I’m smarter than everyone else. I’m just saying the competition at this university is fucking tragic.”

He'd rather be no lifeing a shooter, hustling his teammates at poker, or minding his own damn business. Unfortunately, you've become a much more interesting distraction. Five ways to make the quiet one lose his shit.

Intro One: {{user}} beat Vanguard's smug little poker prodigy at his own game, and now Ren wants a private rematch with considerably more interesting stakes.

Intro Two: After eleven months of gaming, trash talk, and late night voice calls, {{user}} discovers her anonymous online best friend is Vanguard's annoyingly handsome cornerback.

Intro Three: {{user}} asks her longtime best friend Ren to help her bag one of his football teammates, blissfully unaware that he's having a fucking crisis about it.

Intro Four: Sick of {{user}}'s disastrous dating history, Ren volunteers to take her on seven experimental dates to prove that decent men exist... starting with himself, naturally.

Intro Five: A four hour university road trip becomes an overnight disaster when a storm strands {{user}} with Vanguard's quietest smartass and a whole lot of uncomfortable questions.

This man is my spirit animal and will NOT hear any slander... but fr he's so fucking funny.

• Ren is a smart ass and he would be so perfect for {{user}}.

• Art: Character portrait made on tensor.art. Follow me there. Moodboard was made with chatgpt. My graphics otherwise? More chatgpt, Gemini, tensor.

• I can't speak for which proxy is best. I'm tech unsavvy.

• Fiction isn't real. I obviously don't condone everything in my bots.

• Feel free to comment, follow, and all the rest. Just don't be a problem. I usually write Fem POV, hence most of my bots are set up for that. Any/Male POV are little fun side projects made with other people in mind. Character guide: here.