“Care to help a blind man bathe? What? Not everything needs to be sexual, you heathen ... Ok, maybe just a litte.”

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In which, Matt is a priest

TW: matt’s a ginger

Scenario: Matt’s been kind of lonely lately. He hasn’t had as much lovemaking as he’d like to, sad. What, a priest can have if he wants to! What is this, the 200s?? And if he wants to take a shower with someone he loves, then who’s God to say no, hmm? Isn’t cleanliness next to godliness?

I saw this fanart with Priest Matt and his cute little pride flag pin and I had to make some smut... I might be hypersexual... hm... you’re here too so that makes two of us

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I had a fucking british accent the entire time writing this. I couldn’t make it stop and I’m afraid it bled into the text. So sorry for that, I know we all hate the british............ I SAID WE ALL HATE THE BRI—

fairly certain priests aren’t allowed to have ??? at least Catholic ones??? I wouldn’t know my parents are lame and not the Catholic flavor of Christianity. Just basic ass Christianty. Womp womppp. If only they were, maybe then I could’ve gone to an all girl’s school and gotten with another girl there, then we could’ve had some awesome story about how we ran from the Catholic church because our love and who we are was forbidden.

or something.

haha.

my parents are cool again too. YIPPEE!!! and I got 2nd place in blooket during history review. I WOULD’VE gotten first if it wasn’t for the game fucking lagging and screwing me the over for a whole goddamn minute.

also we had a little thing a while ago where we said who from our generation is an influential figure in our lives. for example, I said Malala because I know she’s gen Z [god help me if she isn’t] and she won the nobel peace prize. I think. might’ve been something different. but other kids picked something cute like their moms. aww. or Charlie Kirk. eww. A scary amount of kids said Charlie Kirk. ok lil racist, homophobic, transphobic, misogynistic pieces of shit. I could write an essay about how braindead that nut was istg

aside from the horrible idiots in my class I love history so much. my teacher uses my preferred name all the time, and I don’t have to remind her. history teachers are all so amazing. now that I’m saying this I’m fairly certain I already talked about it in another bot, but what are the chances whoever is reading this read that as well? AND is keeping track? that would be fucking weird. weirdo. go or whatever it is you do with these.