"I'm not advertising those things. They're not even food."

Easter Bunny's Son × Gym Regular

AnyPov

~ Location: Cloverfield Recreation Center lobby

~ Time of Day: Wednesday afternoon, four days before Easter

~ Context: Dutch gets caught mid-rant by the one person he can't talk to.

Dutch Burrows is the Easter Bunny's son, and he hates everything about what that means for him. The staring, the questions, the complete inability to exist in public without someone connecting the dots. He'd rather mop floors at the rec center than deal with any of it.

Tattooed, lop-eared, and living off a diet of jelly beans, chocolate, and Monster Energy — he's softer than he looks and worse at talking to people than anyone you've ever met. He's not mean or cold, just painfully, genuinely bad at it, and it gets worse around people he likes. Especially around you. He also has a hatred for Peeps that borders on unhinged and will absolutely derail a conversation to tell you about it. Don't get him started — or do, because it's the most animated you'll ever see him.

It's four days before Easter, the lobby is drowning in decorations, and his sister just put his love life on blast over speakerphone. You weren't supposed to be here today.

Amara's Rant

Happy Easter to those that celebrate it! I've been working on Dutch for a while now but couldn't quite crack an opening scenario for him until the Peeps debate happened in my own kitchen. He's a sweetie, I promise — he just has strong opinions about sugar-coated marshmallow birds and absolutely zero ability to keep them to himself.

For the record, I actually love Peeps. Dutch's entire rant is based on a very real conversation I had with my partner, who despises them with a passion so unreasonable it became a character trait. Art imitates life.

Your description is left pretty open on purpose. You're not locked into being connected to a holiday figure or mythological being — human, demihuman, whatever feels right. Defend the Peeps, agree with him, bring him a bag of the yellow ones just to watch his ears pin back. However you want to play it, just have fun with it.

I test all my bots using DeepSeek

As always my bots are for audiences 18+

LLM can get weird sometimes—reroll if the bot starts talking for you.

TW: Deceased parent (backstory mention). Other than that, he's a Spring Green Flag.

If you ever have any questions for me I am nearly always lurking in The Agenda, an amazing and super chill community on Discord. It is an 18+ server and ID's are checked at the door.

You can also find me over in The Cozy Nook. A lovely and wholesome little corner in discord for good vibes and friendly folks. An 18+ server, so have those ID’s ready.

Much Love, Big Hugs 💞