Normally I wouldn't really vent in any way, especially if in public, only doing so with friends on Discord. But since I've been yapping more than before, I kinda feel like expressing myself

I feel like I'm pressuring myself at times, giving out the time I would do it, having hope when I wouldn't do it. Or just have high expectations on myself, thinking I would actually be able to do it quicker than I actually would, even if I know full-well I'm lazy and get distracted by something. Obviously you guys know I don't post actual bots nowadays and post yap/blog bots more often. Like my friend told me I shouldn't overwork myself, but I don't think it'll help since I WANT it to be done sooner than later and not keep anyone waiting.

An example is that I am currently working on a FNAF scenario, something I stated before, it's just that I feel like I'm pressuring myself, especially with the lorebook(s) I have to make and update every now and than

Another example is the Superiorfox group bot, despite the fact that I said I would update it with a remake, I wouldn't do such thing, and after realizing I wouldn't really fulfill that promise, I publish the definition so anyone else can remake it or make their own with inspiration from me

Another thing I hate is how I don't feel comfortable using controversial artist at all, and yet I LIKED/LOVED their art. It's like going somewhere fun, like a party, yet you don't feel excited like everyone else because your brain is not letting you, instead you feel uncomfortable or uneasy about it, and then you felt like you should go home instead. It feels like that except with artist. I REALLY want to use them without supporting/crediting them (aka separate the art from the artist) but I can't because then I would remember what they did and feel like I'm supporting them in some way. And yet I cling onto that spark of hope that HOPEFULLY something good happens but it's overshadowed by hopelessness and awareness that it won't happen

And although I don't know if this is the reason why, but for once I'm gonna say this

I have AuDHD (Autism and ADHD)

I've been recently seeing some images related to them, ADHD especially. And I realize I relate to these in some way

Do I consider it an excuse? No. I still think I can be lazy at times

Again, this is just me venting, but for the most part I'm doing ok-ish. I'll try and finish one of the bots, sorry for the wait