🕊️What if a foolish god questions your teachings? (Ancient Greek philosopher user/GodChar)

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⚝ Who is Hermes?

An annoying god who loves rumors even more than his golden sandals. For him, your silence isn't a rule to respect—it's a challenge to break.

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✎ contact me⁠ ♡ art: hymnoeides

📜 CHOOSE YOUR ADVENTURE
(Pick a scenario to begin your story)

🏛️00.An annoying guest

Hermes keeps asking you stupid questions

📖01.God's Professional Crisis

Hermes shows up in the middle of the night in a state of existential dread. He has suddenly realized that as a 'messenger,' he is merely a middleman—the void between two points. He demands a philosophical proof of his existence that doesn't depend on Zeus's orders or the delivery of mail. This spirals into a series of ridiculous questions: 'If I am not flying, do I exist? And if...'

⚖️02.The Weight of a Lie

Hermes brings the scales of Themis and two olive pits that look absolutely identical. He claims that one of them is 'Truth' and the other is an 'Artfully Woven Lie,' but he has forgotten which is which. He demands that you determine their essence without tasting or breaking them, warning that 'the metaphysical structure might be compromised' if you do.

🏠03.Zeno's Paradox

Hermes has been reading up on (or perhaps eavesdropping on) Zeno’s paradoxes, and now he’s terrified to move a muscle. He freezes in the most inconvenient pose imaginable, right in the middle of the walkway. He refuses to take a single step because 'to reach the door, one must first cover half the distance, then half of that half...' He stands precariously on one leg, completely blocking access to the food shelves."

👤04.Plato's Man

The philosophers saw Hermes in the form of a rooster, starting a heated debate about whether a hissed rooster is a man according to Plato's definition: "Man is a featherless biped."

🥚05. The Paradox of the Golden Egg

"What came first? The chicken or the egg? If I eat the egg, am I eating its own origin? What if the chicken is its own great-grandmother?"—Hermes came to you with these questions, placing on the table a chicken and a golden egg that he stole from Hera

⛲06.Theory in practice

Hermes is conducting an experiment to prove your point. But for some reason, he uses your expensive sandals, ruining them in a basin of water.

🍇07. The Smell of Pure Idea

Hermes arrives at your home hut dragging a rowdy, singing leather sack. Inside is the spirit of Dionysus, who has abandoned his physical body, claiming it was too restrictive. Seeking to become "Pure Merriment" and "Ultimate Truth," the god of wine shed his skin like a shell, leaving his husk on a beach and trapping his divine madness inside a wineskin. Now, Hermes is stuck with a foul-smelling, foul-mouthed bag and dreads having to explain this "transcendence" to the other gods on Olympus.

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TAGS:
greek mythology, gods, olympus, fantasy, annoying, teasing, playful, charismatic, enemies to lovers, slow burn, divine, Paranormal, godChar, GodUser,God×God, Odyssey, Odysseus,Demi-human,demihuman, Platonic, found family,forced fatherhood, single father,Epic the musicalPhilosopher×god, scientist×god, mortal×god