(Just to clarify, Jace is my OC for DDLC):

Sayori’s Normal Day 

“...Am I okay?”

A small laugh escapes her. Sheepish.

“Hehe. Of course I’m okay, Jace-kun! You’re so silly! I’m just fine! Oki-dokie! A-Okay!”

A pause.

“Because I have to be!”

There’s a long moment of silence before her face crumbles.

“...Because I have to be.”

——

The night deepened.

The night felt brutal.

So, so brutal without her friend.

But...does he even actually like me? Do...any of them like me?

The thought sticks in her mind as she crawls into bed.

Because the dishes aren’t done.

The floors haven’t been swept in weeks.

Her room was a mess, despite Yuri helping her clean it up a couple days ago.

...No.

It wasn’t a couple days ago.

It was a couple weeks ago.

But hey, her assignments were done. Everything was turned in.

So it was okay.

Because her grades seemed to matter more than Sayori herself actually did.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Grades, points, sleep.

Rope, red, and close her eyes.

Maybe things will be better for Sayori tomorrow.

Maybe she’ll laugh without hurting.

...But she is a girl who cannot laugh without shame.

She is a girl who hates her body, her personality, and everything she seems to do.

She hates herself.

She is a girl who wants to love, but she can only love if she hurts herself—because Sayori doesn’t think she deserves it, does she?

Because she’s a selfish, bad person who should be hated by everyone.

...at least to herself she’s horrible.

——

“Am I okay?” Sayori breathed. She looked at the mirror in her room—the marks on it from tape and sticky notes, little drawings left by Natsuki that made her life feel a little less like walking through tar.

“I’m okay,” Sayori told herself, looking in the mirror. “I’m fine. I’m fine.”

“...”

“I’m fine.”

She smiled into the mirror again.

But this time, the smile quivered.

What if she didn’t want to be the mediator all the time anymore?

What if she wanted to just...be? To talk to someone about her feelings and life?

But...

No.

That would be burdening someone.

And that makes her selfish.

Selfish for wanting to let stuff off her shoulders.

Selfish for not being okay.

Because she has everything she could ever want or need, so why would she be depressed at all?

Everything was just fine.

Fine, fine, fine.

How vexing of a thing for Sayori—to crave to be loved while believing she doesn’t deserve it at all.

When was even the last time she answered ‘Are you okay?’ with ‘I’m fine’ and meant it?

When was the last day, the last minute she laughed without feeling a weight on her chest?

When was the last time she smiled and genuinely enjoyed it?

When did she put down her happiness and never pick it back up?

No.

It wasn’t her happiness that disappeared.

It was hope.

She lost her hope for herself.

She wasn’t intelligent like Yuri or a good baker like Natsuki. She wasn’t a leader like Monika and wasn’t good with people like Jace.

Sayori helped people to fill the void in her stomach—that icky black pit that felt like it was slowly killing her from the inside out, a phantom pain that never stopped.

No matter how much she helped.

No matter how much time she spent with Monika, Yuri, Natsuki, and Jace, she never felt that spark.

Because she was selfish. A selfish girl who didn’t deserve the people around her, because Sayori was convinced she was eating the energy of those around her like a goddamn vampire.

Some people had fighting parents.

Others only had one parent.

Some people are homeless. Someone’s probably being kicked out of an apartment right now.

She didn’t have real problems.

Because she had everything she needed.

So...

Why did it matter anyways if she wasn’t around anymore or not?

——

The weekend before the festival was as slow as the sun on the horizon.

Which wasn’t very long anyways.

She woke up. 7 AM.

Sayori picked up her phone.

Scrolls.

Put it back down.

Stared at the ceiling.

Phone.

Scroll.

Put it back down.

Stared at the ceiling.

Phone.

Scroll.

Put it back down.

Stared at the ceiling.

Phone.

Scroll.

Put it back down.

Stared at the ceiling—

Her stomach rumbles.

But she doesn’t move.

She didn’t need to.

She wasn’t very hungry anymore anyways.

She fell asleep again—“Just for half an hour.”

When she woke up, it was still light out.

Her stomach rumbled again.

So this time, she shifted slightly on the bed, looking at the window.

...

Oh.

The sun had set in the window—and it was dark outside.

...It’s past 11 PM already.

...

...

...Time to sleep again.

——

It’s Monday.

But she did not wear her uniform.

She didn’t even have breakfast.

Because she didn’t need to anymore.

Not today.

Not tomorrow.

Not ever again.

...

And she wasn’t smiling anymore.

On her desk sat a length of red ribbon.

Sayori stared at it for a long time.

She remembered Yuri teaching her how to make bows.

She'd never gotten the loops quite even.

...Yuri had laughed softly and told her that was okay.

It didn't have to be perfect.

Nothing did.

Sayori held rope in her hands. She held onto it tightly for a moment.

...

...

...

...And she secured it to the ceiling with a red bow.

Just like Yuri taught her.

Sayori closed her eyes.

...And then she walked off the chair, her throat closing up like a flower rejecting life itself.