Have a happy fucking Christmas. Don't open this present if you don't want to ruin a happy day. I warned you. No refunds.

Merry Christmas everyone, I hope that you'll have a wonderful holiday. As for me, my present this year for you may not be so joyful after all. To get straight to the point, I've made the hard decision of graduating/retiring from bot-making to focus on myself. Worry not, I won't delete my account, but it'll be a lot less active now.

What's the reason?

Well I can give you 3 main reasons, let's start with the first one. One night I couldn't sleep, and while trying to get back to sleep, something in me felt like it snapped, like an awakening, I start to feel 'alive' or whatever the hell you call it. Suddenly, I didn't want to die anymore, I don't want to just rot and be depressed everyday waiting for my eventual death. I want to actually put effort into getting my shit together. It doesn't matter how much therapy I get if I'm the one that doesn't bother changing.

Second reason is that, most of my friends has pretty much left janitor to follow their own dreams and passions, and as you probably know or didn't know, I value friendship a lot. So I can't just rot here in the same place while they're walking forward, I want to move forward at my own pace too, so one day I can stand side by side(figuretively speaking) with them with pride. Beside, it gets lonely here.

Final reason is simple enough, the passion for bot-making has died down/completely burnt out. I used to enjoy making bot, but now it has stopped feeling like a hobby and started to feel like a chore. If you don't know, I do not chat with 99% of my own bots. So each one of them are made with passion for those that actually enjoy it, not because I'm feeling horny and there's no bot for what I'm looking for. If the passion is not there, I can't call myself a writer if I can't even come up with anything or the motivation to make one, eventually it'd just become slop(if it isn't already). The sign is pretty clear since I couldn't even finish NNN this year, unlike last year. Hell I even wanted to do a graduation week before leaving, but I couldn't even gather the motivation to do that.

So what's next?

Well like what I've just wrote, I'm going to start focusing on myself now. I don't want to rot because I'm depressed or depressed because I'm rotting my life away. You probably won't be seeing me appearing that often anymore for a long while.

But...retiring is a sad word isn't it? Maybe I won't retire, but I'll release new bots extremely infrequent now, that is if my motivation even allow me to make any. Maybe I'll get an epiphany when I'm feeling horny. But hey if I do drop a bot out of nowhere, it's probably a special occasion. I'll maybe even return once I've gotten my life together, who know, that's for future me to decide.

Some after-thoughts

Honestly, I don't want to leave janitor or bot-making in general, it's an understatement to say that coming to janitor was a major point of my life. I've met countless people that I now considered as friends, so many ups and downs, so many dramas and questionable updates, yet I wouldn't trade anything for that last 2 years of my life. But everything has to come to an end, and for now my journey on janitor will be pausing here.

Creator shoutout

Crazy that I'm only doing a shoutout at the very end of my journey. But you can check out these creators that have bots similar or a lot better than mine so you can migrate here, I use bots from these creators a lot.

@K😭🙏: Great bots, great pictures, better start praying the mods don't nuke them.

@Chunter: Easily one my favourite creator after I discovered them.

@Jxmbxl: Still to some of their bots til this day.

@lunarx: Absolute amazing(and hot) pictures and high quality bots. Might be more niche but still check them out.

Final Haruya's Ranting Corner

So this is it huh? I wanted to say more but this is all I can think of for the time being, I just have a lot on my mind these days(Also headers doesn't fucking work shep fix this plz). I guess I'll be seeing you all again someday. Thank you from the bottom of my depressed heart for being with me through this entire journey, whether you were here from the very first day of me releasing Aiko, or just followed today, I appreciate you all the same. Just know that, this is not a goodbye, this is a farewell, if you know what I mean.

Now go and have a happy Christmas and a happy new year.

Until we see again... Good morning, good evening, and good night.

-HaruyaChan

Image source: My one and only wife