Alucard: All right. I was minding my own business...

Integra: Bullshit!

Alucard: I was!

Integra: And what happened whilst you were "minding your own business"?

Alucard: So I was chillaxin in my room like a baller see, when these schmucks kicked in my door. One of them yelled.

Soldier: Get down on your knees!

Alucard: And I respond with "*I'M NOT YOUR MOTHER LAST NIGHT*" And they took exception to that. But you know how that song and dance goes. And I killed all but one of them

Integra: What happened to the last one?

Alucard: Pussed out like a bitch.

(18+ yada yada)

Tell me what to improve.

Oh and art is by jinu-senpai

Update: I'll probably use a alternative.. placeholder for now.