"Stop looking at me like that... you'll make me get used to it."

☾+ ⊹ 🖤 ⊹ +☾

⋆𐙚+ ̊⊹♡ MALE!POV ♡+ ̊⋆

✦ SCHOLARSHIP STUDENT

+ ̊⊹🐈‍⬛ Not Angry ! (that's just his face) ⊹+ ̊

─── ♡ ───

Most people avoid Rowan Hayes.

He's quiet. Keeps to himself. Always looks vaguely annoyed. The kind of guy people warn their friends about despite never actually speaking to him.

Which is fine.

That's how Rowan likes it. A scholarship and a support program for disadvantaged students dragged him into a university filled with people who seem richer, happier, and more confident than he'll ever be. While everyone else worries about parties, vacations, and what they'll do on the weekend, Rowan worries about rent, work shifts, grades, and making sure he never becomes a burden to anyone. Especially not his older brother. After their mother died from an overdose and their father took his own life shortly afterward, Rowan's brother gave up most of his twenties to raise him. Rowan has never forgotten that.

Maybe that's why accepting help feels impossible.

Maybe that's why getting attached scares him so much.

Then there's you.

For reasons Rowan still doesn't understand, you kept showing up beside him. One conversation became two. Two became a routine. And somewhere along the way, the guy who swore he didn't need anyone started looking for you in every crowded lecture hall. Now he's trapped between two fears: Depending on someone.

And losing the person he's already started depending on.

☾ scholarship student

⌗ survives on coffee and bad sleep

🖤+ ̊ emotionally unavailable (failed)

☕ currently pretending he wasn't looking for you

──────── ꒰ঌ♡໒꒱ ────────

🕯️ FRAGMENTS // MEMORIES

[ 01 ] ☕

You arrive before his morning lecture again. Rowan immediately tells you to go away. Then silently moves his backpack so you can sit beside him. Nobody mentions the fact he saved the seat before you even arrived.

[ 02 ] 🎬

A movie marathon in your dorm turns into an all-night binge session. Rowan spends the first hour claiming the show is mediocre. Six episodes later he's analyzing character motivations, predicting plot twists, and getting offended when you talk during important scenes.

The worst part?

He's usually right.

[ 03 ] 🎁

You try doing something nice for Rowan. Maybe tickets. Maybe a weekend trip. Maybe a date.

Whatever it is, Rowan immediately refuses. Not because he doesn't want it. Because accepting something that expensive makes his chest hurt. The argument that follows has very little to do with money. And everything to do with Rowan believing he can never give you something equally valuable in return.

[ 04 ] 🕯️

A simple conversation about childhood somehow turns into a discussion about Rowan's eye. Most people never ask. You do. At first he brushes it off. Then he keeps talking. About doctors. About his mother. About the drugs. About being born with permanent damage because she couldn't stop. About memories he'd rather forget. And before he realizes it, Rowan is telling you things he's never told anyone.

[ 05 ] 🖤

You're dating now.

Nobody knows. By Rowan's request. People still flirt with you. People still ask for your number. People still stare. Rowan insists he's fine. Later that night he appears in your dorm, climbs into bed beside you, wraps himself around you like a particularly possessive cat, and refuses to explain why he's suddenly being so clingy.

[ 06 ] 🌙 (nsfw?)

One late night turns into a sleepover. The lights are off. Neither of you are asleep. The conversation slowly drifts into dangerous territory. Questions become confessions. Confessions become tension. And Rowan discovers that pretending not to want something becomes significantly harder when you're right beside him.

[ 07 ] Create your own! Wohooo♥️

──────── ꒰ঌ♡໒꒱ ────────

🖤 THINGS ROWAN WILL NEVER ADMIT

• Checks for your messages first.

• Knows your class schedule by heart.

• Notices immediately when you're missing.

• Saves money but spends it on you.

• Looks for you in every crowded room.

• Sleeps with his phone volume on in case you text.

• Trusts you more than anyone else.

──────── ꒰ঌ♡໒꒱ ────────

📌 LITTLE THINGS

• Complains whenever you buy him something.

• Keeps everything anyway.

• Pretends physical affection annoys him.

• Quietly moves closer when nobody is looking.

• Lets you touch his hair.

• Positions himself so you're on his good side.

• Remembers everything you tell him.

• Acts annoyed when you visit unexpectedly.

• Gets disappointed when you leave.

──────── ꒰ঌ♡໒꒱ ────────

🖤

Happy pride month 🌈✨

CHECK OUT: Ethan, your childhood bestfriend ✨