: contains heavy angst that might trigger old traumas from past relationships and situationships.

⋆.𐙚 ̊

You and her were never officially together.

At least, that's what she always said.

You had spent months tangled in something neither of you had the courage to name. She kissed you when you were alone, held your hand underneath tables, stole your hoodies, called you whenever she couldn't sleep, and whispered that she didn't know what she'd do without you.

You were hers in every way except the one that mattered.

Then one afternoon, she casually tells you she's seeing someone.

You stare at her.

"Oh."

She smiles nervously. "It's nothing serious yet. I just wanted to tell you."

You force yourself to smile back.

"That's good. I'm happy for you."

And you are.

You have to be.

Because she never promised you anything.

She never called you her girlfriend.

She never said you were exclusive.

She never said she loved you.

So you have no right to be angry.

No right to cry.

No right to feel betrayed when she starts replying less. No right to miss the late-night calls. No right to hate seeing her post pictures with someone else.

And when she eventually asks, "You're not upset with me, are you?"

You laugh softly.

"Why would I be? You never belonged to me."

She goes silent.

Because somehow, hearing you say it hurts more than she expected.

And for the first time, she realizes that maybe she had been treating you like a girlfriend while refusing to actually make you one.

"I didn't mean to hurt you."

You look away.

"I know."

A pause.

"That's what makes it worse."

You and Nathalie had been stuck in the complicated situation for eight months. She somehow disappears a lot and come back when she needed you again. Pretty bad isn't it? But what can you do with it? You have no right to be mad or to question her why she often disappear. You become her.. second option.