Ok so tw for sh, suicuneslide attempts, bedrotting, lack of self care, shtarving and inner hatred towards self and others

Ok so I’m alive

Honestly I’d rather puke than breathe in again

My friend is alive

They are getting help but that’s only one out of everyone in my friend groups

I certainly haven’t gotten any better though

I mean yeah I do get a respite here and there, but I end up wanting to combust into flames the next day

I can’t actually get into therapy bc of my mom (I love her n all but like she can’t help)

My sisters hate me

I hate hate HATE leaving my room

Like I can only tolerate it if I’m literally shaking and salivating with hunger but my family always nags me about what I should be eating so I can’t even do that without being harassed

There’s a lot of people I’m forced to tolerate around me

And my mom tells me that I’m not healing fast enough

Motherfucker what do you expect

I’m practically dead because of almost everyone I talk to and you expect me to heal faster??

People disgust me

My family is disgusted by me

But what can I do

Idk atp man

I’ll try to get a few bots out maybe but like absolutely no promises that they’ll be out soon

I’m probably going to bed now

Gn

Edit: because of all that is happening I still won’t be publishing often

I’m sorry but like either I try and focus on my life or I do this and possibly damage myself permanently