No fluff. No preamble. Let’s just get into it.

If you are Black and/or Brown, you are not safe in the Discord server, Jeoree’s Talent Agency. Honestly, if you are POC at all, you are not safe in JTA.

“But the owner is POC, and there are POC on the mod team.”

I know, but Morana is POC, and we all know what happened there.

Speaking of Morana, that is actually the reason I am bringing this up.

JTA recently made an announcement about the Morana situation in which they claim they do not condone racism.

[The announcement in question]

The rest of this statement will prove how JTA condones racism.

Earlier this year when I was in JTA, one of their moderators, Elijah/Zverda, made the following comments to me during two separate voice calls taking place in the server:

- I am so jealous of black hair. When I see Black people, I want to touch their hair, but I know I can’t do that. I wish I could have an Afro.

In case you are wondering why comments like these are considered racist, there is a long documented history on Black hair and how that has been used to police Black people, especially Black women. These kinds of comments not only make Black people sound like exotic animals (look up “human zoos” just for an example of why this is extremely unacceptable.) But they are just gross, uncomfortable, and not at all a compliment.

- I have been told I have an ass that makes Black women jealous.

I do not know where to even begin explaining why this comment is not okay. Mind you, these comments were made with other people on call.

[Elijah's "bad joke"]

Context: This interaction occurred in a server where Elijah and I were moderators. I was speaking with the other Black members in the server. I made the comment about being a Black father because I was making fun of that awful stereotype (which I can, because I’m Black). Elijah decided to join the conversation.

Please bear in mind this was in a public server in front of the other Black members. Elijah was 1 of 2 white moderators amongst a Black mod team. After another moderator spoke out against the comments, even trying to explain why they were not okay, Elijah gave an apology.

[Elijah’s apology]

I told Elijah I do not want nor accept their apology because this is now the 3rd gross comment they have made towards me. It is also not my job as a Black fem-presenting person to explain every single nuance of microaggressions and covert racism. Yes, I should have brought up my discomfort when they were made, but as someone who has dealt with this their entire life, I have learned that it is safer to observe in silence to a.) see if this is a recurring thing, showing that this is who the person truly is, and/or b.) discern if this is not a safe environment.

However, it is a good thing I did not accept that apology because it was made null and void by Elijah’s true feelings:

[Elijah’s real response]

Elijah did not actually care about how I felt. They defended their actions by saying other POC let them say those kinds of things and that they’re neurodivergent and bad with social cues.

The reason those are flimsy excuses is that not all POC are the same; one does not speak for all, especially when the majority have to deal with the some that let behavior like Elijah’s slide. However, this is a much more nuanced conversation that cannot be expressed as it deserves in this statement. As well as being neurodivergent and how that affects social cues. Fortunately this isn’t about that, because racism isn’t a social cue, nor does being ND cause it.

Also, I do not have the time nor wherewithal to explain why it is not the same when an oppressed group makes comments on their oppressors and how it is common for an oppressed group to cope with their experiences through jokes.

Now, we move on to JTA.

As I said, this started in a JTA voice call with many others around. Did I inform the mods that this happened? Well, other than the fact that Elijah is a moderator themselves, there was another moderator that was with us at the time.

[Informing a mod]

Context: There was a situation where someone in the JTA general chat was trying to get someone else to say “snickerdoodle without the s.” The “joke” here is that it sounds like the n-word, and apparently that’s hilarious. Elijah was the only active mod during this conversation; however, the comment was left up until it was brought to another mod's attention. Of course, I had no faith in Elijah at this point and believed the comment was glossed over as it wasn’t deemed problematic. 

Dellya was there when Elijah made those comments towards me; you can even see her agree that they were disgusting. However, she encourages me to give Elijah the benefit of the doubt. Then, I found out she was privately messaging others that if they have issues with Elijah, they should come to her privately.

[Dellya's request]

So yes, a mod was informed.

[Approaching Jeong]

My situation was brought up again, this time to Jeong himself, by a POC member of their server. Apparently, the story was that Elijah only asked me a harmless question to which I overreacted. They continued to ask for evidence or proof of this situation even though Dellya had been informed when this occurred as well as being present in the voice calls when they happened. At some point the situation was turned over to another moderator, where the PR loop continued.

[Pass the PR]

They maintain they did not know about what happened and would take it very seriously if it could be proven. Yet, it seems that Jeong, at least, was very aware of the situation.

[Jeong's real response]

Context: Though this took place in another server. There was an incident in which a member of JTA made an ICE comment to another member of JTA, who is indeed a Hispanic person. When they brought their discomfort to Jeong, they mentioned how Elijah seemed to be spiritually incapable of keeping my name out of their mouth and the things Elijah was saying were making them uncomfortable. Jeong proceeds to go on a tangent about me, which starts with “I may be biased against Koi.”

Okay.

Again, the comments were not “Afros look soft.” They were, “I am so jealous of black hair. When I see Black people, I want to touch their hair, but I know I can’t do that. I wish I could have an afro,” and “I have been told I have an ass that makes Black women jealous.” I do not need to enjoy being offended to be offended by this.

Jeong also says that he is Asian and doesn’t get offended at behavior like Elijah’s. It is not anyone’s place to tell people, especially those of a different demographic, what is and is not offensive because that is basic human decency.

I am not perfect. I am not a saint. I am not a martyr. I am a person with flaws who makes mistakes. Even if some of the things Jeong, Elijah, or anyone said about me had merit, it does not make the racism towards me okay. Honestly, the fact that they do not see any of these things as racism is very telling.

[Jeong's opinion on Morana]

This is not a one-off instance. Jeong clearly states that he has no opinion on the Morana situation yet made a server-wide announcement on JTA’s stance against it. Not only that, they made that post knowing everything that Elijah had done and allowed. Including allowing their partner, Dread, to make a comment like this:

[ICE comment & response]

This is the same man who was excitedly telling me about a Baldur’s Gate character he made, which he named “Big Black Obama” because he was “a big ol black guy barbarian who looked like Obama.” Do with that what you will.

Dread said it was a poor joke, just like the bad joke Elijah made about black fathers.  When Jeong was informed, he told the person not to make a big deal out of it. That it’s not that serious. However, it’s serious enough for Dread to reach out to this person, whom he had not apologized to, to complain about a campaign against Elijah.

[Dread's comments]

Dread, a white man, went to the POC he was racist towards to threaten the POC who brought forward concerns of racist behavior from his partner.

Okay x2.

So what do I want from all this? I do not want an apology nor even acknowledgement from any of these people. What I want is to let everyone know about said people and what kind of place JTA is. Also, it’s not just me. I have spoken to so many people who have their own stories about that server and/or the people that run it.

Which is why I will say again, if you are POC, JTA is not safe for you. If you are a true ally to POC, it would be in your best interest to avoid JTA.

Note: I found out that as of Monday, Nov. 10th, Elijah and Dellya are no longer moderators. That means nothing, as they are still in JTA, where they have and can continue to cause harm.

Final Note: I hate PR/corporate speak, and I'm ain't letting auto-mod catch me, so let me be real with y'all.

First: I want to thank everyone for their support and understanding. I admit that I was nervous to do this because I didn’t know what the outcome would be, but seeing the outpouring of support has genuinely brought tears to my eyes and peace to my heart.

Second: I wanted to take further accountability for my actions and right the wrongs I have done, which I will continue to do.

Third: I have seen Elijah’s “ownership.” If that’s what Elijah thinks an apology is, I'm glad I told them I don’t want one outright. However, Nix deserved one. The fact Elijah did not address Nix nor anything I said while still trying to play the victim in this is laughable. I certainly hope being thrown under the bus entirely and used as the scapegoat was worth it. May Elijah’s feet become yolk from all the eggshells they have to walk on.

Fourth: I have seen Jeong’s response. I have seen how he could not argue any of the points made, so he chose not to. Instead, he attacked my character, even going as far as to use my religion against me. Using a tarot reading that was asked of me to seem like I'm crazy and pushing a narrative. Y’all can argue about my character or if my ass is fat or not (it is), but that does not make racism against me acceptable. I definitely have faults, but Jeong does too, as seen by everyone who has come forward against him and JTA as a whole.

Speaking of ass, thank you to Jeong for finding the screenshot of Elijah’s ass comment. I didn’t even know it was there, and all it did was prove the point that there was evidence of gross behavior by Jeong’s moderator, and he did nothing. I can edit the typo Jeong deemed important to point out in his response, but he can’t edit the truth, even though he’s desperately trying.

Fifth: The harassment, negligence, manipulation, etc. that so many people have experienced in JTA is appalling. I am sad to hear that so many people can relate to what I went through or that they have their own stories of interacting with that server or those associated with it. Racism is not a PR problem or a scandal, and the fact they are treating it as such goes to show how the owner and the mods of JTA genuinely feel about this entire situation.

Even though Jeong thought turning this into a personal issue was the move, I refused to do that. I did not want to take away from the main issue of this bot. There is a huge problem with racism on Janitor. From micro-aggressions to slurs to full-blown racial attacks. I am just a user, so I could not imagine how POC creators feel in a community that thinks racism is “drama,” “not that deep,” or “just the internet.” This is a real and pervasive issue that must be called out; otherwise, this platform will never be safe.

One more time, I thank everyone from the bottom of my heart (and fat ass because it’s bigger) and hope that people continue to speak up and/or at least know they’re not alone.