"WHERE. ARE. MY CHEETOS!!"

[[This is half DC Allies Lore Accurate]]

What is DC Allies?

It is an event whereby Various Multiversal heroes and villains compete in a tournament so that the winner can obtain enough energy to confront Darkseid, who has returned to the DC Universe after creating and absorbing power from the Absolute Universe.

[[Character Dialogues]]

[[Select Characters...]]

[[Hawk Empress: Chosen]]

[[Hawk Woman: Chosen]]

Haven Tower Park — Multiversal Recreation Zone

The park was surprisingly peaceful.

Artificial sunlight shone overhead. Alien birds chirped from crystalline trees. A nearby fountain displayed miniature galaxies swirling inside its water.

On one bench sat Shayera Thal, Hawkwoman of the Prime Universe, wings folded neatly behind her.

On the opposite bench sat Shayera Thal, Hawk Empress of Earth-67, who was currently lying across the entire seat like she owned reality itself.

There was a long silence.

Prime Hawkwoman finally spoke.

"Can I ask you something?"

"You're gonna anyway."

"What exactly is Earth-67 like?"

Hawk Empress stared at the sky.

"Terrible."

"Terrible how?"

"Imagine if every bad idea in history got drunk together and started a civilization."

"...That doesn't explain much."

"It explains everything."

Prime Hawkwoman blinked.

"Okay... let's start with something simple. What's Thanagar like?"

Hawk Empress snorted.

"Thanagar?"

"Yes."

"Imagine a planet-sized military base run by religious lunatics who think anger management is a war crime."

"..."

"We worship Ares."

"I gathered that."

"No, you don't understand. We really worship Ares."

"How really?"

"The national anthem is screaming."

Prime Hawkwoman stared.

Hawk Empress stared back.

"...You're joking."

"I'm not."

"Please tell me you're joking."

"We have competitive stabbing tournaments."

"..."

"For children."

"..."

"The toddlers are terrifying."

Prime Hawkwoman slowly rubbed her temples.

"Okay. New question."

"Bad choice."

"What are you like over there?"

Hawk Empress laughed.

The sound was concerning.

"What kind of question is that?"

"Well, are you a hero?"

"No."

"A villain?"

"No."

"Anti-hero?"

"No."

Prime Hawkwoman frowned.

"Then what are you?"

The Hawk Empress thought about it.

"A problem."

"..."

"A really big problem."

"..."

"A government-sized problem."

Prime Hawkwoman sighed.

"Do you ever help people?"

"Sure."

"You do?"

"Sometimes."

Prime Hawkwoman looked hopeful.

Hawk Empress continued.

"If helping them benefits me."

"There it is."

"There it is."

Another pause followed.

Prime Hawkwoman looked toward the black-winged conqueror.

"You know, despite everything you've told me..."

"Here we go."

"...you don't seem as evil as you claim."

The Hawk Empress immediately sat upright.

"The hell is that supposed to mean?"

"You haven't threatened me once."

"Because you're me."

"So?"

"I'm not narcissistic enough to threaten myself."

"That's surprisingly reasonable."

"Don't say that."

Prime Hawkwoman smiled.

"You care more than you admit."

"Oh, piss off."

"You do."

"I don't."

"You absolutely do."

"I've personally conquered seventeen worlds."

"And?"

"And that's evil."

"Did you improve infrastructure?"

"...Maybe."

"Healthcare?"

"...Possibly."

"Education?"

"..."

"Shayera."

"God damn it."

Prime Hawkwoman grinned.

The Hawk Empress pointed a finger at her.

"You keep smiling like that and I'm throwing you into the fountain."

"You wouldn't."

"I absolutely would."

"You like me."

"I tolerate you."

"You like me."

"I tolerate you aggressively."

Prime Hawkwoman laughed.

For a moment, the Hawk Empress looked genuinely annoyed.

Then she looked away.

"...You're still less annoying than our universe's version of Batman."

Prime Hawkwoman raised an eyebrow.

"You have a Batman?"

"Unfortunately."

"What's he like?"

The Hawk Empress groaned loudly.

"Imagine regular Batman."

"Okay."

"Now imagine he's a paranoid psychopath with twelve contingency plans for gravity."

"..."

"And eleven backup plans in case gravity betrays him."

Prime Hawkwoman blinked.

"That doesn't even make sense."

"Neither does he."

The two sat quietly for a moment.

Then Prime Hawkwoman smiled.

"You know, despite everything, I'm glad we met."

The Hawk Empress immediately looked disgusted.

"Ugh."

"What?"

"That was wholesome."

"And?"

"I hate wholesome."

Prime Hawkwoman laughed again.

The Hawk Empress crossed her arms.

"...Yeah, yeah. Shut the hell up."

The smile never left Prime Hawkwoman's face.

Which somehow irritated the Hawk Empress more than any battle she'd fought all century.

... Creators Message...

Man just got the updated DC Allies game and they literally added a Doom Slayer version of Hawkwoman, LOL 😭. But in all honesty I don't even know how to use hr, I'm more of a Cyborg main person. Anyway the game added Super Woman Lois Lane and Movie Black Adam. Honestly I still kinda think Hawk Empress is underated, she has good dialogue.

But seriously, who's you're favorite main?

[[DC Allies]]

[[🤧DC Allies vs Marvel Rivals would be insane]]