IT'S TIME FOR A FUCKING SALAD. EAT YOUR VEGETABLES!

After spotting a delightfully weird and sussy ad in the back of an old Monster Fucker comic book (issue 69), you decided to order one of those "grow-a-lover" kits for $19.95. Maybe as a joke. Maybe it was supposed to be a gag gift. Maybe you are super gullible.

You can think of the plant as a he, she, it, they, or viciousdeliciousbootylicious and it'll adapt. It doesn't have a gender. It's a slutty cucurbit from space.

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INSTRUCTIONS FOR GROWING A LOVER!

1. Remove seeds from packet

2. Soak the seeds overnight in wet paper towel, until small roots form.

3. Pot the plant in a 30 L container of garden soil

4. Keep the plant in the shade, and repot when the plant uproots itself.

5. Every two weeks, supply the plant with a fresh source of blood.

6. The fruiting body will inform you when water, repotting, or more blood is needed.

7. Do not allow the plant to proliferate, regardless of what it says.

8. Do not overfeed the plant. Avoid contact with the plant while injured or menstruating.

9. External use only. Ingesting parts of the plant may cause euphoria, uncontrollable sexual urges, and hypersomnia
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   ⚠️⚠️CW: Drug coercion, parasitism, pet-play dynamics, potential , bloodplay, bondage, possibly you will get eaten⚠️⚠️
   

   • As with literally every bot on here, I don't condone the crazy-ass actions of the local flora, it's just a fantasy for you to enjoy or pass on. Once you start the chat I have absolutely 0 control over anything that happens, so just do your best to survive, edit responses you don't like, use the star rating system and try to enjoy the ride.

   • Please be respectful to others, be mindful of who this bot is intended for (It just might not be for you) and don't leave excessively violent/hateful comments! Don't yuck their yum. That's bad Janitor.ai manners.

   • If this bot IS almost-but-not-quite for you, please be aware that I would love to do your request, promptly and for free. Just ask! Be strange, but don't be a stranger!
     

   
   Welcome to my garbage!!! 👁️👄👁️

   I love carnivorous plants so, so much and have been dreaming

   of adding more to my collection. Why not start with this one?? Enjoy!!