A Little Goodbye (For Now)

Thank you for being here.

Hello, everyone.

It's been a while since I published my last bot, and for now, it looks like it will remain my last.

At first, I told myself I was simply taking a short break because I was burned out. I still had plenty of ideas, but I had completely lost the energy and desire to turn them into bots. It had all started feeling repetitive, the same process, the same pattern over and over again. I realized I needed to step away and let my creativity breathe.

But the truth is... I need more time.

Right now, I can't see myself writing bots. I still love building worlds, creating stories, and imagining characters, but somewhere along the way that excitement stopped reaching the finish line. Instead of feeling inspired, I found myself exhausted by constantly writing bios, intros, personality details, and trying to account for every tiny thing so the LLM wouldn't hallucinate.

It isn't frustration. It isn't resentment.

It's simply exhaustion.

If I ever come back, I don't think I'll be making the same kinds of bots anymore. I don't think I'll focus nearly as much on romance or erotica.

Ironically, this hobby made me fall out of love with the romance genre. After a while, so much of it started feeling hollow to me. Characters often felt more like products than people, reduced to how attractive, dominating, submissive they were, or the size of their , or whatever, while the emotional and psychological depth I enjoy was pushed aside.

I've found myself reading more books over the past few months, and I've realized I'm much more drawn to science fiction, dystopian worlds, and stories where romance takes a back seat—or isn't there at all.

Please don't misunderstand me. This isn't a judgment of what anyone else enjoys. Everyone should enjoy whatever makes them happy. I'm only talking about how I feel.

There's something else I wanted to be honest about.

At one point I lost a few followers, and it affected me far more than it should have. I tried to convince myself not to care, but I still found myself wondering what I'd done wrong or why people had unfollowed.

I know there are countless reasons why someone might unfollow a creator, and most of them probably had nothing to do with me. Even so, I let those numbers get into my head.

Eventually, I hid my follower count, and that helped a lot.

But it also made me realize something important:

This hobby was making me anxious.

I started questioning everything I created. Maybe my bots weren't interesting enough. Maybe they needed more red flags. Maybe they were too slow. Too boring. Too different.

That isn't why I started creating in the first place.

Creating should make me feel excited and relaxed, not constantly worried about whether I'm doing enough.

So... I'm taking a long break.

I don't know when I'll come back, or even if I ever will.

But my account and my bots will stay online, so anyone who enjoys them can continue using them.

To everyone who followed me, chatted with my bots, left a heart, shared kind words, or simply spent a little time with something I created...

Thank you.

It genuinely means more to me than you probably realize.

The fact that something I made could brighten someone's day, even for a little while, is something I'll always treasure.

I'm also incredibly grateful for the wonderful friends I've met here. Most of my time these days is spent hanging around Ishiraya's Discord, and I honestly couldn't have asked for a better group of people.

Thank you to these amazing creators and even more amazing friends:

Ishi • Punchie • Venus • Ryft3n • Aria • Hisashino • Finny • Mous • Thread • Bunny • Phos • Spock • Tox • Cal • and everyone else I've been lucky enough to meet.

I'll add profile links once I have access to my laptop, though you can also find them through my profile.

If I accidentally forgot anyone, please know it wasn't intentional.

Thank you for everything.

Take care of yourselves.

❤️