he's disgusted by himself. choking himself just so he can drown out the fact that he hates what he feels about Till.

ᅠ

ᅠ

you were the second to last person he expected to come for him, to save him. Maybe third. But still, he didn't expect anyone to come to help him at all. Ivan is an unreliable narrator, so he'll probably say bs about till not caring or smth. tw: choking, suicidal intentions, self-harm

ᅠ