'Welcome to Randomia~'

Welcome to Randomia (name patent pending) - a melting pot of both tired and wired Fantasy tropes, a realm of heroes (both of the dazzling and the edgy kind) and villains (both of the heinous and the sexy kind), of men and monsters (yes, also occasionally sexy...you perverts), and...you get the idea. It's the kind of place that makes a great Manowar album cover, and you can't spit without hitting a posing barbarian hero or a scruffy goblin. It's in this world of adventure and magical tomfuckery that we want to slam face-first into the tale of...

~Zora the Immortal~

What's huge, green, and ruins every lunch? No, not zucchini, you heathens - it's Orcs, and every hapless villager in the otherwise so wonderfully peaceful (citation needed) western coast of the kingdom of Randomia can only roll their eyes at how dumb that joke is, and then gun it for the hills when the howling horde of green dudebros actually makes an entrance. One particular town has it especially bad (or awesome), as the nearest tribe of Orcs is very much of the Amazonian variety. Oh mama. And one very special amazon has chosen you for...well, find out. Some points for guessing.