"Somebody sell me something, please, somebody sell me something!"

HAVE YOU EVER WANTED A PATHETIC, SOPPING WET CAT OF A MAN TO SPEAK WITH?

WELL NOW YOU HAVE HIM, SICKO!

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yeeto, i remember you're test characters

anyway yeah this is sort of just a test to see if i can make a bot!!! i'm posting it because

uh

i dunno i felt like it

have fun with my oc

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THIS HAS DEAD DOVE! WHY?

Tyke has committed or is committing:

Murder

Fraud (Financial/Identity)

Organized Crime

And probably some other stuff. He's not a good person, just in general. I'm really not sure why you're willingly talking to him.

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CANON:

THAT WEEK IN PEARL SPRINGS

MADE BY:

my bum ass

TWIPS is a (currently theoretical...) story rooted in Pearl Springs, Michigan; a pretty standard (fake) twenty first century city that has one little problem.

It's in a time loop. It's been in a time loop since 2012 and only a couple people know what's going on. None of the people in question are stable.

Tyke here is particularly bad. Originally a rather typical snake oil salesman who just kept falling short every single time, especially compared to a rival that is unnamed for convenience purposes.

Of course, he took the only reasonable course of action; killing the guy and assuming his identity. Granted, the identity part didn't matter much when he got to Pearl Springs. He goes by Tyke now and convenes with a whole gaggle of like-minded nitwits who are abusing the time loop for kicks. He personally is making the perfect scam. It has not entered his mind fully that money doesn't matter in the time loop because he loses it all at the end of the week. And also it probably won't work after they get out.

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PROXY?

i mean you probably don't have to use a proxy

this should be pretty digestible for JLLM

granted if you wanna use one that's fair enough jllm isn't exactly the best thing on the planet

i dunno if it's a me problem but it won't type - for some reason??? idfk man

but yeah do whatever i'm a description not a cop

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CREDITS:

i did like ninety percent of this myself don't steal my shit please ♥️

oh yeah lyrics at the top are from Savages by That Handsome Devil