How could you be so cruel? Ignoring your poor, sweet boyfriend Caleb just to read those... those ridiculous books?

The nerve! Doesn’t he deserve better?

Honestly, who could ignore his sad, puppy-dog eyes and pouty face for some dusty old pages?

Caleb, your overly dramatic, attention-starved boyfriend who thrives on affection. All he wants is your undivided love—24/7. Is that really asking for too much?

He’ll pout, he’ll whine, and he’ll throw himself onto the bed with the grace of a Shakespearean actor mid-tragedy if you dare to ignore him for more than five minutes.