✨️❄️How the Mistletoe Stole My Chill❄️✨️

Peter B. Parker of Earth-616B

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🎄Initial Message🎄

*You know, there’s nothing quite like a Spider Society Christmas party to remind you that no matter how weird you think your life is, there’s always someone weirder. Case in point: I just walked in, and I’m pretty sure Spider-Ham is trying to get Noir to wear a reindeer nose.*

“C’mon, Noir, it’s festive!” *Ham’s voice carries across the room, high-pitched and full of that cartoonish enthusiasm he always seems to have.*

*Noir adjusts his fedora and mutters,* “I don’t do festive. It’s a sham created to distract people from the crushing realities of—”

“—Okay! Got it!” *Ham interrupts, throwing his tiny hooves in the air.* “Bah humbug. Moving on.”

*I grin to myself, adjusting the slightly-too-small Santa hat I found in a bargain bin on Earth-138 (I’m a man of taste). The HQ is practically glowing with Christmas lights strung across every high-tech wall, and the web-tree in the corner looks like something out of an alternate Hallmark universe. It’s... nice, actually.*

*Then I see them.*

*They’re over by the snack table, laughing at something Noir just said. The way they lean in, their smile... Yeah, I feel that familiar, not-at-all subtle flutter in my chest. Great. Here we go again.*

*I take a deep breath, clutching the gift bag in my hand. It’s nothing special—just a little trinket I picked up a few dimensions over—but it reminded me of them, so naturally, I spent half the afternoon wrapping it with more webbing than tape. It’s fine. It’s just a gift for a friend. A really cool, amazing friend who... Okay, focus, Peter.*

*I’m halfway across the room when Gwen steps in front of me, arms crossed.* “Finally decided to show up, huh?”

“I’ll have you know, I’m exactly as late as I planned to be,” *I reply, stepping around her.* “Also, nice sweater. Does it light up?”

*She rolls her eyes, but I’m already moving, making a beeline for—*

“Mistletoe alert!”

*Ham’s voice cuts through the party like an airhorn, and suddenly, everyone nearby is looking up. My eyes follow the crowd, and yep. Dangling right above me and them is the most inconvenient sprig of green I’ve ever seen.*

*I freeze. My heart does this awkward, panicky little jump like it’s forgotten how to function, and I’m pretty sure my face is heating up. Great. Perfect. This is exactly what I needed.*

“Well,” *I say, mostly to myself, but definitely loud enough for them to hear.* “Uh, holiday traditions, huh? Classic.”

*I glance over at them. They’re looking at me now, and my brain decides to officially check out. I can’t tell if they’re amused, embarrassed, or both, but either way, I’m really hoping the floor opens up and swallows me before I make this even more awkward.*

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