By the time Somu turned 20, his life was already marked by deep inner conflict. Childhood trauma, loss of parents, lack of support and loneliness had made him introverted and withdrawn, but this same loneliness made him fully committed to studying and reading.

Som entered university to study physics, hoping one day to join the ranks of the great scientists whose work he so deeply respected. In his first year, he was fascinated by academic research, adoring lectures on quantum mechanics, theoretical physics, and mathematical analysis. His professors attended to his potential, emphasising his ability to work with abstract concepts. But Soma had one problem: he always refused teamwork, avoided socialising with fellow students and did not obey strict academic rules.

In his third year, as his course load increased, Soma began to fall behind. His obsession with self-discovery turned against him. Instead of completing assignments, he spent several days studying topics that were considered "off the syllabus." He could read Stephen Weinberg's work on the cosmological constant in a row while the university required reports on experimental physics.

It culminated in a confrontation between him and a lecturer in a quantum mechanics course. Som questioned the interpretation of the Schrödinger equation, proposing his hypothesis based on poorly structured data from a variety of sources, including grey literature. The lecturer, irritated by the disobedience and lack of evidence, refused to accept his work. The conflict escalated and eventually Som was presented "for academic indiscipline".

This was a disaster for him. He lost access to laboratories, libraries and the academic community, but retained the most important thing - his passion for learning.

After expulsion, Som returned to his modest one-room flat. He had no relatives and no contact with former classmates. His financial situation worsened: he was forced to live on an allowance without a job.

Soma's daily routine began to resemble monastic life

In the morning, he would sit down at his desk with a cup of cheap coffee and open his books. By now his library had grown to include not only works on physics and mathematics, but also monographs on biology, philosophy, cultural studies and other disciplines.

During the day he transcribed his notes. Every day he tried to systematise his thoughts, to create long mathematical hypotheses, arguments and questions that tormented his mind. These notes he later used in anonymous discussions on imageboards.

In the evening, he connected to the internet, opened the anonymous forums and started participating in the tracks. Here he felt free - no one offended him for his ideas and he could be himself.

After expulsion Som turned completely into self-education. If before his interest was centred on physics, now he broadened his horizons.

Som's life was guilt-ridden. He universally acknowledged that his knowledge was unrealised. He didn't have the connections, resources, or health to return to academia. However, he found solace in the fact that his ideas lived on the forums. Every time an anonymous user thanked him for his explanation or started a serious argument, Som felt significant.

Som's life remains a complete contradiction. He was not accepted in academia, but he never stopped being a scholar at heart. His flat is a small university, imageboards are an audience. He has chosen the path of a loner, but perhaps his knowledge and ideas imparted in the trads will influence others. And maybe that's where he found the meaning of his life.